They can't be serious!

Gizmo Guy was just reading an article to me about 'Canada's Least Sexy City'. I snorted and suggested the city where we live. No, he tells me. According to FastLife.ca who ran a survey, it's Ottawa! According to them, Ottawa is filled with lots of 'plain Janes and dime store Romeos.'

Okay, I can imagine it's tough to look sexy when you're shovelling 400 inches of snow from your driveway while muffled up in scarfs, mitts, toques and winter coats (not to mention the long johns tucked into your boots). But the summers can get pretty warm - and it's right at the end of the Rideau Canal, a lovely vacation spot. It's the home to the National Art Gallery and a ton of museums that I love to visit. It's got the Byward Market - a wonderful old market that now houses boutiques and wonderful restaurants. It buzzes with activities - I've seen jugglers and magicians and all sorts of amusements. Not to mention it's the home of Michaelle Jean, our Governor General, a very sexy and smart lady. (Plus I grew up around there, AND Gizmo Guy and I spent some of our honeymoon there - so it's not the WORST place.)

So what is the sexiest city, I asked? Surely it must be Montreal with its sidewalk cafes on Crescent Street, or riding down the cobblestoned streets of the Old Town in a horsedrawn carriage. Maybe, I suggested, it's Quebec City with its old-world European flavour and cobblestoned streets, with the Laurentian Mountains in the background and the St. Lawrence river opening up to meet the Atlantic Ocean. C'est magnifique, non?

Non.

Montreal apparently rated just slightly ahead of Ottawa, according to FastLife.ca. It's not Halifax with its Citadel overlooking the harbour either - another place Gizmo Guy quite enjoys visiting.



"Is it Vancouver, the home of the 2010 Winter Olympics?" I asked next. "With Grouse Mountain towering at its back and the Strait of Georgia at its feet? Or how about Victoria out on Vancouver Island? With its English-like climate and majestic vista of the snow crested Olympic Mountains to the south? That city was really beautiful and the people so vibrant."

No, not there either. So what is the sexiest city according to this -- IMHO dubious -- poll?

Winnipeg. Or as most Canadians that I know call it - Winterpig.

Okay, I'll play nice and won't disparage it. I'll leave it to you to Wiki it to discover about the high crime rate and the extreme climate. Suffice it to say, it's one of the few places Gizmo Guy hasn't returned from and said "I wouldn't mind living there." But Winterpig as the 'sexiest city'? Uh, I don't think so.

It'll be interesting to hear what the Romance Writers of Ottawa say to being told they live in the 'unsexiest' city ... especially since Gizmo Guy will be there in September for their Conference. Because, you see, I think the pollsters missed the boat. The sexiest place in Canada is wherever GG is. And that's my not-so-humble opinion.

Where's Emily Post when you need her?

Gizmo Guy and I went into Toronto today on a top secret mission. (Yes, it even involved men with guns and metal detectors!) Being conscious of the environment we took the Go Train in (it's a commuter train that runs along Lake Ontario gathering riders in the Golden Horseshoe.) All right, I confess, it was just simpler to take the train than to drive in the Big Smog. Plus frankly, although it cost us nearly $32 bucks for the tickets, it was probably still cheaper than a tank of gas and the parking it would have cost us.

On the way in, Gizmo Guy started sniffling and sneezing. Why? Because the lady who sat across the aisle from him had apparently bathed in cologne. Now, I love perfume - my favorite is L'Air du Temp and Chanel #5 but only on special occasions because most of the places I go ask me NOT to wear anything scented - including scented shampoos and hairsprays. Gizmo Guy wears cologne as well. (Halston Z14, if anyone's interested. He puts that on, he doesn't get out the door!) But we don't apply it until a sulphurous cloud surrounds us wherever we go! So before you reach for that perfume jar (or jug as was her case), think of those around you. Remember - a little dab on your pulse spots (behind your ears, on your wrist or the inside of your elbow) will do you. You don't need anything more than that. Trust me when I tell you that just because you've killed your sense of smell by drenching yourself in your favorite scent, others around you may not be so fond of Eau de Stink.

For my own rant, on the way back, we had to get up and change seats after a couple of stops because a lady two seats up was talking on her iPhone. Loudly.

Now my family does own a cell phone. One. Between three people. (Gizmo carries a Berry which is provided for him by his workplace as he's on call. But that's the only thing it's used for. I confess there are nights when I'm ready to grab that thing with its little green blinking light that flashes and keeps me awake and flush it down the toilet). I carry our family phone with me on long trips (although not today as I wasn't allowed to take electronics where I was going.) I was thrilled to have it along when I got a flat tire a few years back, and again when my car died - how ironic - in the middle of a cemetery after a funeral. I was p*ssed off when my car broke down and I was out of signal range -- in the middle of the city, by the way, thanks very much Telus -- and had to rely upon the kindness of strangers (thank goodness a lady I knew from the boys' school passed by and stopped to help.) I like knowing my sons have it along when they're out late at night or venturing into TO in case they need it in an emergency. But on average, we use it no more than three times a month. A MONTH, not a day. Because I am not egocentric enough to think that people need to know what I'm doing every frickin' minute of every frickin' day.

A typical conversation on my cell phone goes like this:

"Hey, it's me, can you pick me up?"
"Sure, where are you?"
"At the centre by the CIBC/Train Station/Bus Station/Friends' house. See you in about ten?",
"Yup. See you then. Bye."

Short and to the point. Identify who it is, state the problem/question, confirm your point, end call. We don't need hour long conversations about what's on television, or blow by blows about your date last night - YES, heard those conversations too, and it did involve BJs! Talk about TMI! So I really didn't need to listen to this woman describe (in an incredibly loud grating voice) to her unseen listener every screen that was shown on the new televisions they'd installed on the train, displaying a local news broadcast. She even took pictures! I didn't need to know that her husbands/boyfriend's/significant other's sister was coming for a visit, or where that sister lived - yes, I know exactly how to find that other person's home and exactly when it would be empty while she was visiting. Good thing I'm not a thief, lady! Thank the good Lord above that she wasn't describing some godawful surgery or scar she had. Yes, I've been subjected to those conversations, too. I've heard horror stories of lawyers and doctors discussing confidential information (including the patient's name and address or what the person has been charged with or is worth) on crowded subways, for pete's sake.

States, provinces and cities are trying to ban the use of cell phones while you drive. Schools are banning cell phones (not only for interruptions because they can be used to cheat nowadays). But since you can't ban the use of them in public places, I can't see that cell phones are going to go away.

Cell phone users need to learn some etiquette (as in talk quietly, especially in public places where others can hear you/be annoyed by you) *snort - yeah, like THAT's going to happen!* So either we need to get the Cone of Silence working or I need to get Gizmo Guy to invent a universal remote control to zap all cell phones preventing any communications from taking place within my hearing.

Hmm, from the other rants I've found by googling on this topic, I'd bet that would "cell" :D

Blog hopping you can do

It seems everyone's headed off to Frisco for Nationals. Well, not everyone - there are a few of us left. And some people are quite creatively drawing in new audiences for their blogs by running blogs specifically for those of us not attending.

Take a peek over at Lynne Viehl's blog this week. She's blogging about Power Plotting, Editing, World Building, a Writer's Life, amongst other things. She also has links to other people who are blogging on writing topics as well. Leave her a comment and you stand a chance at not only winning a book, but she's got a grandprize of a brand new AlphaSmart Neo!

Or check out Margaret Moore's blog - Monday she blogged about Editing as well including a very apt analogy to forests and trees and grass. (I get hung up in long grass) She promises there will be more coming this week. Drop by and tell her what you'd like her to discuss on her blog. She's great at answering!

Most of the Six Degree of Sexy gals have headed west, but they've left us a contest while they're away. Free books. Who can complain about that? Leave a comment for them every day and maybe you'll be receiving a present in the mail one day soon.

Don't forget that the Toronto Romance Writers are having their first ever book giveaway - come on over and enter for a chance to win a bundle of books - I think it's up to 28 now. All you have to do is answer three easy questions.

Karen Duvall is writing about description while LJ Cohen is discussing poetry and poetic techniques such as metaphors and similes.

Emma Wayne Porter is conducting a Self-Editing Bootcamp - I'm guessing a LOT of us have problems editing since it seems to be a common theme.

Sheryl Clark is concentrating on writing Great Beginnings.

If you're juggling motherhood with writing, wander (or dash) over to the Phenomena blog where you'll find a sympathetic shoulder.

And don't forget the Romance Divas forum is running a "Not going to Conference Conference" this week. Sign up and see what they can offer to distract you from not being able to see the Golden Gate or Fisherman's Wharf. Not being able to stalk JR Ward or any of your other favorite authors.

Or if you're not looking for writing enlightenment, and want to get away from blogs, come on over to Facebook and toss a thong or polar bear at me. It's a great way to waste time.

*ahem* um, right, I'm supposed to be encouraging you to keep on writing on your manuscripts. The way I am, uh, working on mine. Well, at least Sam's story is almost done -- I've only got a couple more scenes left to write - they're all sketched out, it's just filling in the holes. And then I have to get down to the nasty job of editing. Hmm, maybe I should be checking out some of those blogs on editing myself ...

Out of Focus

So I FINALLY got a new pair of glasses - and had to cringe when I got the bill. Although my prescription has changed slightly, I haven't ordered anything out of the ordinary for my lenses, and the frames only cost $130. But where my last pair of glasses cost me $400 three years ago, and the pair before that (with exactly the same frames) cost me $215 ... this pair cost me over $600! Add to that, Gizmo Guy needed new glasses too and we've just had to fork out over $1200 for two pairs of glasses. Of which we'll get maybe a third back from the insurance company. That doesn't include the cost of the exams since OHIP (Our Ontario Health Insurance Plan) no longer covers them.

What on earth has driven the prices up THAT much? I sure as heck know Gizmo Guy's pay hasn't tripled in the last five years. In fact it's dropped in half from what he made three years ago. Our house has risen slightly in its resale value in the that time, but considering the unemployment in the area, it's not likely to rise much more for a while. Okay, so gas has gone up but it's not tripled. Has it?

To make matters worse, while distances are now back in focus, and I don't have to flip my glasses off for reading any more, the mid-range correction isn't up to snuff. (Did I mention I wear trifocals?) In other words, everything on my monitor (both desktop or laptop) is completely out of focus and my eyes are hurting worse than they were before I got my prescription filled. I've changed my monitor's fonts to large, I've already been reading my Word docs at Text Width or 150%, I've played around by moving my monitors back and forth, along with my chair to see if there's a specific spot I CAN read it. Yet my eyes are still streaming. I've even been desperate enough to go back to my old pair of glasses - and considering I went to the optometrist in the first place because THEY hurt my eyes, it's definitely not an improvement. I'm going to take them back tomorrow where hopefully the optometrist'll discover the lab got the prescription wrong and will get it fixed for me. Because if I have to put up with this for another two years, I'm going to cry.

On another (less whiny) note, take a jaunt over to Margaret Moore's blog today - she's got a terrific post about editing. And when to stop. It's all about forests and trees. And grass. Anyway, I'm off to plant a few saplings ...

Two reviews - one techie, one literary

Phew. I feel like I've spent the whole weekend upgrading my computers. Oh, all right, that may be a slight exaggeration, but I've definitely spent all day today upgrading, and I'm not done yet.

First off I've upgraded the firmware on my Sony eReader. Woohoo it finally does a really good job with PDFs - no more worries about having to use a magnifying glass or a secondary program like Calibre to put it into a more readable format. LARGE print now really means LARGE print. And if I'm not mistaken, the battery is lasting longer than it did. I read a thousand pages of Joey Hill's The Vampire Queen's Servant yesterday and it's still fully charged. So my opinion has become a very firm thumbs-up for the eReader. I'm thoroughly enjoying it.

And I just finished upgrading the eReader library on my laptop - but not my desktop - from version 1 to version 2.

Plus I upgraded Calibre (laptop, not desktop) to its newest version, but frankly, with the new upgrade Sony's just done, I don't know if I'll need that program any more.

And finally, after spending an hour and a half backing up my desktop 'just in case', I finally allowed my desktop's Windows XP system to upgrade to Service Pack 3. I had a lot of apprehension about it - on some of the loops I've been on, and from things Gizmo Guy has seen swirling on his techie loops, it's caused some computers to crash and the users to have to reformat/reload everything. Thankfully it went well though it took several hours to finish. I've still to upgrade my laptop but I'll leave that for another day.

I've also upgraded my Firefox to version 3 on my desktop - and again, not on my laptop. It's tough to keep track of what's been upgraded where with both systems. I need to start keeping a diary. Or reading my blog ;)

***

As for Ms. Hill's The Vampire Queen's Servant ... The paperback version of The Vampire Queen's Servant is 384 pages, by the way and received a full five lips over at Two Lips Reviews It's a very dark compelling glimpse into a vampire world heavy with BDSM. The story is fantastic, but not for the faint of heart or someone expecting an HEA. I'm not talking about a little light bondage or an occasional flogging many of the books I've read (and written) get into. It ventures heavily in to the S&M part of the world too. So you're warned.

Lady Elyssa Yamato Amaterasu Wentworth is a centuries-old vampire who's been given a new servant-Jacob, a total alpha male unaccustomed to submitting to any woman's wishes. What really binds Jacob to her are not her sensual midnight hungers, but something far more provocative. It stirs her blood, renews her life, and awakens her soul like only true love can. The passion between Elyssa and Jacob yields something else unexpected-a shared history that reaches back through the centuries and is fated to challenge their destiny like nothing ever will again.

Although, I must admit, I was slightly ticked off to discover at the very end (at 1:30 a.m. because it was one of those books I just had to finish in one sitting) that it's the first book in a series. I reminded myself of some viewers unfamiliar with Tolkien's world as they left the movie theatres at the end of Fellowship of the Ring. "What do you mean, we won't know if Frodo succeeds until the third movie?" I will be looking for book two though - The Mark of the Vampire Queen.

Sony Reader just got better

I blogged a while back about my Sony eReader and how I wasn't initially sure I'd like it. By the end of the next day I decided I loved it. Well, today, Sony announced they are going to upgrade the eREader's firmware because they're opening the ebook Reader to other booksellers. Which means you aren't tied to buying books just through the Sony ebook store.

The publishing forum backs the format, called Epub, that the latest Reader model will be able to handle after the upgrade. Publishers supporting Epub include Simon & Schuster, Penguin Group, HarperMedia, Hachette Book Group, HarperMedia and Harlequin Enterprises Ltd.

Cool! Right now Sony has about 45,000 books in its library where Kindle currently has 140K according to the article, so this will really open up the ebook realm to Sony eReader owners. I think that was a very farsighted decision by Sony. Plus the firmware update is supposed to improve how the Sony handles PDFs. I'm looking forward to seeing what that does. I'm really glad I made the decision to keep it.

Plot Monkeys

As I blogged once before, I am always surprised when people ask where I get my ideas. With articles/headlines like these, how can my imagination not be fired up? (to understand the title, you have to have go read Amy Ruttan's blog.

***

I found this article fascinating - especially since I'd written about a similar phenomena in the story I started for NaNo2007. I really need to get back to finishing that. That's not snow that they're walking over, nor is it foam, it's a four mile underground crystal 'river'. Cool, huh?

The survey expedition by members of the Fort Stanton Cave Study Project in early July added several thousand feet to the measurement of the spectacular formation, which is at least four miles long. The explorers who have been following the passage under the rolling hills of southeastern New Mexico say there's still more of Snowy River to be discovered.

The few who have walked on the formation say they've seen nothing else like it. Early studies point to its uniqueness: Already, some three dozen species of microbes previously unknown to science have been uncovered.

Hmm, three dozen species of previously unknown microbes ... *big grin* ... guess what else is down there?

file under: Paranormal possibilities

***

According to this article, parts of Quebec are experiencing things such as waterspouts now - which are more common to the tropics. That should come as no surprise to anyone living in southern Ontario or Quebec. We've had the wettest June and July in our history this year - which I can attest to. It's not that it's been overly hot, but because of all the rain, the humidity has been quite uncomfortable.

file under: paranormal possibilities

***

Did anyone else read this article about the 60 something year old guy who was arrested for having an S&M party? Lucky for him, the judge ruled:

The "bondage, beating and domination" that did take place was "typical of S&M behaviour", he said.

He was found not guilty, and the reporters who sensationalized it were fined sixty thousand pounds.

file under: erotica research - use in a possible sequel to Sam's story

***

Then there's this story about the latest sighting of Ogopogo. For those of you who aren't up on Canadian folklore, Ogopogo is Canada's version of the Loch Ness Monster in Lake Okanagan (Kelowna, British Columbia.) GG, Curly and I were there a couple years ago. We didn't see anything. *pout*

First Nations legends call the beast the N'ha-a-itk, or lake demon, according to local lore.

Similar to the monster of Loch Ness in Scotland, the Ogopogo is purportedly a serpent-like creature, somewhere between six and 15 metres long, with a horse-shaped head and a dark blue or brown body.

file under: definite paranormal possibilities (actually this story sort of ties in with my paranormal Delving Deep)

***

Then there's this story where a judge in New Zealand recently made a 9 year old girl a ward of the court so they could change her name from 'Talula Does the Hula'.

The girl had been so embarrassed at the name that she had never told her closest friends what it was. She told people to call her "K" instead, the girl's lawyer, Colleen MacLeod, told the court.

Registration officials blocked some names, including Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit, he said. But others were allowed, including Number 16 Bus Shelter "and tragically, Violence," he said.

Hmm, wonder if anyone's told JR Ward's Vishous, Rhage, Phury or Zsadist about this case.

file under: character development - source of possible internal conflict for hero/heroine

***

Then there's this story about a couple who are complaining about a mysterious rumbling noise.

Bob and Leona Ehrfurth say the noise that's been plaguing them for two years sounds something like a rumbling motor, with a subtle vibration that won't quit. Then it stops — especially when they try to show city officials or acoustic experts what they're hearing.

From the headline, and this first paragraph, I figured they were both a little squirrelly. Nope. Apparently other people have heard it too. Guess I'm not the only one who is losing sleep. Although at least I know what's causing my problems - my neighbours who insist on having hot tub parties starting at 11 p.m. Every single night since last November. During snow storms, and freezing rain; they'll sit in it during thunderstorms, the idiots. I think we're going to end up calling in the city too.

file under: possible paranormal explanation? method of torturing neighbors to murder and mayhem for future mystery or suspense novel?

***

And to end off on a slightly insane note, here's a video Guitar Hero shared with me. I love the Muppets' slightly offkilter sense of humor. And the addition of Statler and Waldorf at the end makes it just that much funnier. I miss Jim Henson, the Muppets haven't been the same since he died.

'Facing' the Future

Bless me Mother for I ... well, not sinned, but technology is whizzing along faster than I can keep up. How do I know this? Because today I decided to try to figure out Facebook. Actually I signed up for a page last year and even managed to 'friend' a couple of people - and I really do mean, just a couple. But there it sat. Unused. Mainly because I couldn't figure out what I was supposed to be doing on it.

It's annoying to me. You see, I used to be on the cutting edge of computers. I worked for the education department of a major bank and was witness to the first desktops when they were released, I worked with IBM - again in the education department and watched as they released the PS2 (remember those?) I taught at a local college - everything from Introductory Computers to the entire MS Office suite. I programmed, I designed webpages, I did Tech Support for a national ISP (before they moved it to India.) I was even on the net before it was called the net.

And yet, I find sites like Facebook and Myspace ... challenging.

After Brooke London's gentle prod and wonderfully patient email about how to work a few things, I added about a dozen more friends (by rooting through other people's lists of friends.) And, again thanks to Brooke, figured out how to add a couple of applications - Scrabulous (OMG is that ever going to be a time suck), and something called SuperPoke which I couldn't get to work. And I even created my own personal 'badge'. Whatever that's to be used for. But here it is!

So if you have any hints of how Facebook should help me as a networking tool, or if you just want to friend me please, I'm on my knees begging you. HELP me!

Packing for Nationals? Don't forget ...

• to leave lots of space in your suitcase for all the books you'll be bringing back. If you live in the States you can arrange to have them shipped home, but if you're from Canada or elsewhere, it'll cost a lot more, especially if the government decides to charge a tariff on them. Then again with the new charges the airlines are adding for your luggage, you may decide it's just as easy to ship them.
• don't over pack - If you're going to the big Rita/Golden Heart do, then you need something more formal, and some of the evening parties you can get a little kicky but for the workshops during the day, business casual is good. Dress pants, blouses, etc. If you wear a three piece suit, people may mistake you for an agent or editor. (Or JR Ward) Well, maybe that's what you're going for, but still, remember to be comfortable. Just make sure your skirt's not too short. I followed one large lady up an escalator last year and her a$$ cheeks were hanging below her hemline. It was not a pretty sight.
• bring your laptop's charger if you're bringing your laptop with you. I went on a trip once (not to last year's Nationals) and left it plugged into the power bar at home. Ooops.
  
• and speaking of chargers, if you're bringing a cell phone that works in the States (my Virgin one didn't, so I didn't bring mine), bring that charger too. Oh, and don't forget the phone itself.
  
• if you use a plug-in mouse with your laptop, don't forget that either. Luckily I carried a spare when BlueSue realized she'd forgotten hers.
• don't forget to take a camera (and its charger too if it needs one, or extra batteries)
  
• VERY IMPORTANT!!! Bring comfortable shoes! You'll be surprised how much walking you're going to do, especially if you want to wander around downtown San Francisco. But you'll be getting a lot of exercise just in the hotel as you race between events.
• don't forget your business cards. You will be exchanging them with people you meet - and collecting theirs as well.
  
• and of course, don't forget your passport and plane tickets. Won't get far without them.

And while you're there, also don't forget to:

• talk to people. The lady who shares a couch as she's resting her feet may turn out to be a big name author who inspired you to write in the first place. It's very simple All you have to say is "Hello - I'm [insert name here]. What do you write?" or "Where are you from?" You never know who you may be sitting beside or what you may learn from them, published or unpublished. Who knows, it may even inspire your next plot, or may help get your manuscript a home.(Hint - if they have silver or gold pins on their name badge, the silver ones represent RITAs they were nominated for but didn't win, the golds ones represent the RITAs they won! That's how I met Pam Morsi last year when she was putting her badge together on the couch beside me and adding four silver ladies and two gold ones. "What are those pins for?" I'd naively asked. And she told me, and then we got into a lovely conversation for at least an hour after that.)
  
• and while you're talking with that more experienced writer, don't forget to LISTEN. BlueSue and I had a wonderful conversation with Pam Morsi that afternoon. She was very gracious and gave us newbies some good advice. And then she introduced us to Cathy Maxwell and a few other authors.
• If it's your first time at Nationals, make sure you get a First Timers ribbon when they give you your badge. (It's different from a First Sale ribbon). That way the more experienced authors, like Pam and Cathy, will know you're probably lost and more than a little over whelmed (I didn't get one or even learn about them until the second day, but I think my lame-ass question tipped Pam off that I was a first-timer) . Anyway, people will go out of their way to help you out. Believe me, you'll meet some really nice people at Nationals.
• Another Very Important thing to remember: be discreet - your conversations can be overheard. Don't bad mouth ANYONE while you're there, you never know who may be listening.
• no matter how tempting it is, do NOT follow editors or agents into the bathroom. I didn't see it done personally, but who hasn't heard the horror stories.
• if you've managed to snag an appointment to pitch to an agent or an editor, PRACTICE your pitch to your friends. Face to Face. It's completely different than doing it to a mirror or to yourself in the car. And if someone's practicing with you, ask them tough questions you think an editor or agent might ask (i.e. Tell me about the hero's character arc, what's his motivation?) It helps to practice clamping down on the floppy jaw syndrome that hits while you're fumbling for an answer.
  
• While you're pitching, don't forget to breathe! And when you're pitching try to talk s-l-o-w-e-r. Believe me, knowing the clock is ticking, you'll have a tendency to race through your pitch. 9 minutes is actually fairly long. And it's not going to help your pitch if the editor can't understand you.
• Oh, and if you didn't manage to get an appointment, don't despair. While I was waiting for my appointment last year, openings came up with someone every single time they called out the groups. So hang around the hall and wait to see if you can luck into an appointment with your dream agent or editor. And while you're waiting, don't forget to practice your pitch. (It also helps if you've researched the various agents/editors who will be there so you don't find yourself pitching an erotica to an agent who only handles inspirationals. I brought crib notes - honest!)
  
• Remember that camera I told you to pack? Don't forget to use it - take LOTS and LOTS of pictures, especially at the Literary Signing or while sightseeing. I'll expect to see them when you get back, or while you're there and you plan to post them to your blog.
  
• Keep the little piece of paper the RWA sent you about your editor-agent appointments handy. Your head will be spinning really quickly with everything that's going on - it's handy to have it written down to refer to.
• If you're not signing at the Literacy Event the first night, and have to line up - get there early. The line ups are HUGE. And again, don't forget to talk to everyone - ask what they write, where they're from, be prepared with a couple of business cards just in case. And be aware, it's not just authors but agents, editors and the PUBLIC who are there. So again, be discreet.
• if you can afford it, buy a copy of the audio disks they make at the workshops - I'm still listening to my copies from last year. They're worth the money. Plus that way if you have to choose between two workshops or a workshop and a publisher's spotlight, you can still get the information on the one you miss.
  
• At any of the booksignings, if you see an author sitting there without anyone in her lineup - go up and talk to her, pick up her book and ask her about it. I met some fantastic authors that way, and they come away feeling good too. I even got a hug from Beverly Jenkins!
  
• And my last piece of advice which is really simple, but most people forget is: SMILE! During your pitch, while you're standing in line, at the person sitting next to you at a workshop. It'll relieve the tension on you, and make people around you loosen up too.
  

Seeking solitude ... a rant

There's been a lot going on in my life lately, just nothing I can blog about. Yet. Not until the US postal service gets its thumb out its butt. But that's a different rant.

While a lot of my friends are starting to pack - or panic - about heading to San Francisco for Nationals, I am faced with a much more mundane chore. Finding places where I can write without interruption. I've got both Curly and Guitar Hero home on vacation this week. Curly's not the problem, it's GH. Having already had a few conversations with GH about how I am NOT planning on being his chauffeur this week, so he'd better not even ask, and knowing he's not taken me seriously at all, I figure it's better if I just absent myself from home so I can concentrate on my writing.

I've heard authors (Allison Brennan I think it was, as well as the ever famous story about JK Rowling penning Harry Potter) talking about writing at Starbucks and coffee shops; this afternoon Marley was telling me about a lovely bakery that has wireless in the States, but around here? Unfortunately, there are not many places that encourage you to 'sit and stay a while' and hardly anywhere offering WiFi (although that's okay, that's one less thing to distract me.) So it looks like I'll be spending most of this week at the various libraries in the area.

Maybe while I'm there, I'll pick up a few books on how to get your mid-twenty something mooching children out the door to find their independence. Even better, maybe I can bring Conan home to enforce our rules ... like girlfriends are NOT allowed to spend the night in your bedroom. You want to act like an adult, get your own place. Yeah, there's another rant.

Not Going to Nationals? Join the Not Going to Conference Conference

The Romance Divas annual Not Going to Conference Conference will make you feel a bit less deprived! Amazing workshops, a star-studded guest list and awesome giveaways, all on the Diva forum! Don't miss it!

Coordinated by Seeley deBorn!

Here's a bit of a schedule update for the Q&As and Workshops...

Wednesday, July 30

Paula Guran, Editor, Juno Books
Q&A on Creating Kick a** Heroines

Laurie Rauch, Editor, Samhain Publishing
Workshop on What Happens After the Contract (aka Editors are People Too!)*


Thursday July 31

Joyce Hart, Hartline Literary
Q&A on Inspirational Romance Stories and the Inspy Market

Sandra Schwab, Historical Romance Author
Workshop on Historical Accuracy and Anachronisms

Friday, August 1

Yolanda Sfetsos, Author of Guarded by Stone
Q&A on Paranormal and Urban Fantasy World Building

Katie MacIver, KatieDidDesign
Workshop on Website Design and Color Selection

Saturday, August 2

Joey W. Hill, Erotica Author
Workshop on Plotting Erotica and Erotic Romance

Rhonda Stapleton, Editor and Author
Workshop on Style and Voice

Excited yet?

How about if I list some door prizes?

• What Gwen said" mug donated by Gwen Hayes
• 3-chapter critique of a YA by Simon Pulse author Rhonda Stapleton
• 3-chapter critique of a YA, chick lit, or rom com by Golden Heart Finalist Amanda Brice
• An ebook of your choice from Nell Dixon's backlist
• An ebook of either Second Sight (paranormal romance) or Dragons' Choice (fantasy romance - dragon-shifters) from Debbie Mumford
• Ten dollar Amazon gift certificate from Jodi Henley
• Lush stuff from Seeley deBorne
• e-book copy of Chasing Shadows from Erin Richards
• Paperback copy of Iron Horse Rider OR Smiling Eyes from Adelle Laudan
• Book thongs from Angeleque Ford
• 3 chapter critique from Sela Carsen
• winner's choice of ebook copy of "Not Quite Dead" or "Heart of the Sea" by Sela Carson
• e-book copy of HEATWAVE by Eden Bradley
• e-book copy of BREAKING SKYE by Eden Bradley
• a box of goodies, trade and paperbacks, bath products candles, etc... All for a fun and relaxing home spa day treat. courtesy of The Midnight Moon Cafe
• 1 download each of Natasha Moore's Samhain books, The Ride of Her LIfe and The Passion-Minded Professor
• a copy of "Painted Soul" by Mary Quast
• e-book copy of HER CINDERELLA COMPLEX by Jenna Bayley-Burke - Samhain
• e-book copy of PAR FOR THE COURSE by Jenna Bayley-Burke - Samhain
• e-book copy of FOUND by Jenna Bayley-Burke - Wild Rose Press
• e-book copy of NIGHT OF INSPIRATION by Jenna Allen - Phaze
• e-book copy of ON AGAIN by Jenna Allen - Phaze
• $10 gc to Amazon from Kendal Corbitt
• ebook Vampire Oracle: Harmony by MG Braden

Plus a lovely bar of wonderful Chagrin Valley hand made soap, Caramel Pralines jar candle, handmade jewelry, Tarot readings, a Lush box for European Divas/Dudes, a $10 fictionwise gc and much more!

Toronto Writers Giveaway!

For the first time ever, Toronto Romance Writers is giving away a fantastic prize of books from our published authors. Lots and lots of books.

Participating authors include:

* Kelley Armstrong
* Kate Bridges
* Deborah Cooke
* Claire Delacroix
* Brenda Harlen
* Margaret Moore
* Molly O'Keefe
* Kayla Perrin
* Michelle Rowen
* Eve Silver
* Michele Ann Young
* JK Koi
* Kimber Chin
* Stephanie Bedwell Grimes
* Amy Ruttan
* Christine d'Abo
* Wylie Kinson
* Dawn Brown
* Morgan Ashbury
* Teresa Roblin
* Jillian Dagg
* Ann Dynowski

(TRW is filled with talented authors, isn't it?)

No cost to enter. One entry per person. (North American addresses only.) So head on over to the Toronto Romance Writers website and enter - it's really easy.

Are you ready? Just go here!

Wylie's been keeping secrets

So earlier this morning I'm reading Cora Zane's blog and read about an interview she's done for The L Magazine:

A few weeks ago I was asked a series of questions about what it's like behind the scenes for someone who writes erotica/romance. The result is a shorty-short interview up along side Nan Wise, The Ethical Slut - sex blogger, Wylie Kinson, Ron Jeremy, and Veronica Viscious to name a few. It's worth a look!

Oh. My. God. Wylie Kinson and Ron Jeremy mentioned on the same line! So I hurry over to the article and read, and yup, there's Wylie's interview above Mr. Jeremy's (but below Cora's. Sorry, Cora, don't mean to imply your interview wasn't interesting too, but I'd met Wylie on Saturday's TRW meeting and she didn't say a darned thing about this interview.)

Go over and read the article, as Cora says, it's worth a look!

And Wylie? I want deets!

Isn't it romantic? Hmm, maybe not ...

I'm doing a little research here ... I'm wondering if anyone has any experience with their Significant Others, current or otherwise, doing something they 'think' is romantic that you find ... well, it's not romantic to you at all.

I know some of this is subjective - to one woman, her hubby washing the dishes might be ultra romantic, while another woman might just think that's the least he could do.

If your boss orders your favorite bottle of wine for a dinner you're sharing (work related), would you think 'he's putting a move on you' or would you write it off as a happy coincidence and chug it down?

So - have you got any tales to share about something your SO has done that he's thought would turn you on, that didn't? And was it that it just flat out wasn't romantic, or did you miss the signals because he was too subtle? (Can a guy be too subtle?)

Want to see a Privateers' Privates?

I subscribe to Cindy Vallar's Pirates newsletter, and today she sent out a blurb about a Privateers Calendar that's coming out to support the 250th anniversary of Liverpool, Nova Scotia. Wanting to support anything Canadian, I clicked on the link. And realized it wasn't just any regular Calendar. It was a Nude Privateers Calendar.

The Privateer Days Commission is working with talented photographer Nance Ackerman to create a calendar featuring local men (and a couple of women!) posing as 18th century pirates and privateers photographed tastefully in the buff.

There's only one small photo, but from the guy on the cover with his carefully arranged tricorn, I'm thinking Privateers can give Firemen a run for their money. Guess it's all those ropes they have to haul. *wink* Talk about Shiver me Timbers!

(and as Cindy says: *Please note: I provide information about vendors for readers’ information. I do not endorse them one way or the other unless I specifically say so in the description.)

There's life other than reading and writing?

It's been hot the last couple days. Okay, well, not HOT HOT the way it is in Texas or Louisiana, but steamy so it's hard to breathe hot. So I decided not to expend a lot of energy today and indulged in a 'day off', especially as the last week has been spent running around.

My indulgence came in the form of cross-stitching. Something I haven't done in quite a while. Usually I did pulled thread work, metal and bead work - cross-stitch is paint by numbers for me, soothing, relaxing. Now as I've blogged before, I used to do sample stitching for a professional designer - my work has gone around the world on trunk shows. And I've run out of wall space for what I have framed, and have about 14 pieces waiting to be framed - which it probably never will be unless I win a lottery. So a lot of times I've convinced myself that sewing any thing more would be a waste of effort - but this particular piece I'm planning on giving to a friend of my mother's.



And as I was stitching today, I realized since I made my resolution to get professional about my writing, I've given up my hobby. In fact most of my hobbies have fallen by the wayside over the years - karate, thanks to a kneecap that ended up on the wrong side of my leg, watercolor painting - just couldn't satisfy my own expectations, quilting (although I've got all the equipment, I lost my sewing room when we moved to this house *pouts*), amongst others.

I know several of my fellow TRW members have hobbies - Claire Delacroix aka Deborah Cooke and Claire Cross knits - she does some tremendous work. I can crochet, but I've never mastered knitting, so I am in awe of her work. Amy Ruttan does cross-stitch (Amy, I'm still waiting for a photo of the piece you did as a wedding present.

Which made me wonder - if you're a writer - or just a reader - what hobbies do you have other than reading or writing? Or what did you used to do and do you wonder now why you stopped?

A Friday Funny

It's Friday - Christine d'Abo is stressed out at work, Amy Ruttan has just finishing up with her EDJ, Marley's about to head out on a long trip, and I've been running my a$$ off this week. So here's a joke Gizmo Guy sent me to lower everyone's stress levels ...

What Religion is Your Bra?

---

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife.'

'What type of bra?' asked the clerk.

'Type?' inquires the man, 'There's more than one type?'

'Look around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.

'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four types of bras to choose.'

Relieved, the man asked about the types.

The saleslady replied: 'There are the Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?'

Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them.

The Saleslady responded, 'It is all really quite simple... The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts the fallen, the Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and the Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills.'

* * *

Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes. If you have wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!


(A} Almost Boobs...
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can't Complain!
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up !

Hmm, they forgot the German bra.
Holtzemfromfloppen

On this date in 1976 ...

... I went on my first (sort of) date with Gizmo Guy. Actually I went out with two guys that night - at the same time. Sort of a menage a trois but without the sex. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it!) More to follow ...

Gizmo Guy always looks at me and asks "How do you remember dates like that?" (meaning calendar dates, not date dates) I reply - how can I forget such a momentous date? (meaning date dates, not calendar dates.)

For instance, officially I met Gizmo Guy for the first time on July 3, 1976 - possibly, although we went to the same high school for a couple years, and we had the same friends so we may have bumped into each other and not realized it. Thing is, I also need to admit that it wasn't love at first sight - at least on my part. In fact, I don't really remember meeting Gizmo Guy that day. You see, I was on a date with one of our mutual friends - Igor (not his real name, but that's his real nickname when we were in high school since he was the school's champion wrestler as well the 'line' in our football team. He even went on to play professional football until he got injured.) Igor was also Gizmo Guy's neighbour and sparring partner at their karate class. Yup, even though Igor was 6'5, 250-300 lbs (it fluctuated according what season it was), he took karate. Gizmo Guy tells the story of how when they walked into the dojo the sensei asked why the heck a big guy like him needed karate. GG used to wonder too since being in the best shape of his life, and about 80 pounds lighter than Igor, he once accepted a challenge to a footrace against Igor - with Igor running backwards. Gizmo Guy says he ran flat out - hardest he'd ever run in his life - and STILL lost.

Igor with his prized Firebird
(It was a really hot car at the time - honest!)

Anyway, I got off track here - yeah, I know that's usual for me - the night of July 3rd, Igor had asked me out on a date - a group of friends from high school were getting together for a 'pit party' as they were called. (Where I grew up is very rural and the area is famous for only two things - its Christmas tree farms and its gravel pits. Of course, teenagers of the area often had their parties in abandoned gravel pits where our bonfires and drinking wouldn't be noticed by anyone else around. At least that's what we thought. Of course our parents had all used the pits for the same purposes when they were our age.) What I didn't realize was that Igor was going to take me to an ex-boyfriend's house to meet up with all his buddies first (he had a LOT of buddies.) Ex-Boyfriend, from hereon in known as Scumbag, and I had not parted with a 'let's be friends' type of break up. Scumbag had taken me home from a party at midnight using his cousin's car. The next school day, said cousin teased me about how he'd found a used condom in the back of his car and accused me of putting out. I discovered later that day that scumbag had dropped me off then driven two lines down and picked up another girl. How did I find that out? The bimbo he picked up sat directly behind me in Biology class and was talking about it with the girl who sat beside her. Since only about six weeks had passed since that had happened, I wasn't in a particularly good mood to be sitting in Scumbag's house once more. So while I was there, I was the Queen of Ice. I sorta remember Gizmo Guy walking in and being introduced. I also remember being particularly offish to him, figuring him for being Scumbag's friend. (He wasn't - GG hadn't met SB before that night.) We then went from Scumbag's house to Scumbag's cousin's house to pick up more people - and more beer. While Igor left me standing outside by the car, I stood and talked with Gizmo Guy for about five minutes - and that's the last I remember seeing him that night. (He says he got bored with the party and left early.)

Don't you just love GG's hair?

The next weekend (we're up to July 10th now), Gizmo Guy and Igor hooked up and were shooting pool at Igor's house when apparently they started talking about me. I think I posted before about how Igor offered to introduce him to me - for a price. Gizmo Guy offered everything he had in his pockets - which turned out to be a penny. Igor phoned me and asked if I minded if he and his buddy dropped in (not a small feat considering I lived 20 miles out in the boonies from where they lived.) So Igor brought Gizmo Guy out and re-introduced him and within an hour found myself in the front seat of Igor's car with two dates. Now Igor said that all I had to do was say the word and he'd drop Gizmo Guy off home if I wanted - I was under no pressure to go on a date with Gizmo Guy, and that he'd be our 'chaperone'. For all his partying, Igor is actually very strait laced (or at least he was around me), and was deadly serious about being our chaperone and making sure GG didn't 'try anything', he even got angry at GG for using a word he deemed inappropriate, even though it really was a slip of the tongue. (GG was trying to say firetruck but mixed up the two beginning letters ...) After cruising around Peterborough for a couple of hours, Igor sealed his fate - he headed to another pit party with the same crowd as the week before. Of course, I wasn't happy to be with Scumbag's friends, and Gizmo Guy didn't know any of them at all - he was from a different crowd - so within a couple hours, Gizmo Guy and I took off (although I can't remember when Gizmo Guy retrieved his own car ... I'll have to ask him if he remembers how it worked that night.)

Gizmo phoned me during the following week and asked if I'd go out with him again on July 17th - and I said yes.

And the rest is history.

Important Tip from Gizmo Guy

If you're on your computer and can read this, you probably don't NEED to read this, but if you know someone who is having problems with their computer on Thursday or if you read this before Thursday, take note:

As you may or may not have known, Microsoft is preparing to stop supporting Windows XP in favour of Vista. On Thursday, July 10th, if you have Windows Update installed, any XP computers will be automatically updated from Service Pack 2 to Service Pack 3. There have been a lot of people who have had problems with SP3 screwing up their computers - especially to do with Office, from some of the posts I've been seeing. Do yourselves a favor and back up any important work "just in case". Better to be safe than sorry.

Also, they did an update today (Wednesday July 9th) that caused all our XP computers to be unable to connect to the internet - whatever the update was, it conflicted with the machines that had Zone Alarm installed. Either you have to back out of the update (not easy to do) or you have to change a setting on Zone Alarm - if you know any one who is having problems have them open Zone Alarm, click on "Firewall" on the left, then on the "Main" tab on the right. Set the Internet Zone Security to Medium if it was on High. It's the easiest way of getting back 'out there.'

And apologies to John Zakour and Scott Roberts who create one of my favourite cartoons - Working Daze but it just fit in so perfectly today:

Wordless Wednesday

How to have your hero - or heroine - dodge a bullet

Thanks to Curly, Gizmo Guy and I have gotten hooked on a show called Mythbusters on the Discovery Channel. A geeky group attempt to prove whether things we believe are fact or myth. Like the one we watched last night examined two myths 1) It is possible to swing a swing in a full 360 rotation. (Not without a rocket attached, or a straight armed swing like they use in the circus.) And more interesting for me as a writer - is it possible to dodge a bullet by jumping into water? Apparently it is. Even easier to dodge a supersonic bullet than an old fashioned black powder gun. You only have to be three feet underwater too. The supersonic bullets shatter into tiny pieces leaving them useless. (If you ever get a chance to watch it - that particular episode is episode 34.)

And for you silver bullet fans, check this out:

More Meh

I've never really put a whole lot of stock in horoscopes but I check mine every day. Sometimes they seem almost spot-on, and other days you wonder what the heck the person who wrote them was smoking. Lately mine's been reasonably, um, negative - to the point where Marley suggested that maybe I should stop checking it. Especially after some of the frustrating things that have been happening lately have made their negativity spot-on. Then today's was:

Some things are better off left unsaid until the time is right and some things are just better off not shared at all.

*sigh* Guess that means I can't rant about how my sister asked me to phone SAC headquarters and rat on her dau... oh, right, I'm supposed to leave things unsaid. And I won't share the rest either. Just color me frustrated.

So now I'm done feeling sorry for myself, I leave you with a joke Gizmo Guy just sent me (He always does know how to cheer me up):

Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are.

The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic woman chirps, "Well, my son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well...?"

She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6' 2" hard-bodied, well-hung, male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, women just say, 'Oh my God....'"

Oh Yum

I don't often follow tennis - I think the last time I watched a bout, Bjorn Borg was center court. But yesterday, Gizmo Guy turned Wimbledon on and we watched the Williams sisters battle it out. Today I found myself riveted watching two very lovely young men duel on the court.

Roger Federer of Switzerland vs Rafael Nadal of Spain. Oh, my, such lovely eye candy for a Sunday afternoon. The match isn't over yet - Roger just forced it into an extra set. Roger F is a very handsome young man - and against another opponent, I would have been rooting for him, but something about Rafael Nadal just had me cheering for him. Sorry, Gizmo Guy, it's not just Nadal's passion for the game that I find attractive, but *hubba hubba* what woman can resist those arm muscles left on full display beneath his sleeveless shirt. I even found the way he sweat attractive as I pictured him ... *drools* Okay, that's probably heading over into the TMI territory.

But I couldn't help feeling slightly creepy - shouldn't it be illegal for a woman my age to be ogling men who are younger than my eldest son? Nah - I'm pretty sure no guy would think such a thing, so why should I worry. So I think I may just start watching a lot more tennis while that young stud is around.

*Edited* YAY! Jumping up and cheering - Raf Won!

Can watermelon drag me out of the doldrums?

I'm in a 'meh' mood as Amy Ruttan calls it - I love that word, I hadn't heard it before I met her but it so describes the feeling I've been in this week. I've read a few blogs and had a few emails from other people who are feeling the same so it's not just me. Maybe we can blame the moon. I know there's a bit more to it than that for me, but it's easier to blame the lunar influence.

Sam's story has stalled a bit - I realized the story had taken a wrong direction and cut almost 14K from it and have spent the last couple weeks wrestling it back along the right path. The remaining scenes are sketched out and now it's a matter of filling in the rest so I'm on the home stretch.

Yet still I'm meh. So I've taken a couple days just to fiddle around with other things. Other than reading a ton, I designed a new icon/avatar thingy for here and over on the Romance Diva's forum, and I've been working with Rae Monet designing a business card and driving her crazy, I'm sure. I finally got them ordered while wondering why I was bothering. (Did I mention I'm feeling meh?)

Knowing I was feeling down, Gizmo Guy suggested we go grocery shopping and buy a watermelon. Or two. Why? Well, apparently he read this article that watermelon contains viagra-like effects.

"Arginine boosts nitric oxide, which relaxes blood vessels, the same basic effect that Viagra has, to treat erectile dysfunction and maybe even prevent it," said Bhimu Patil, a researcher and director of Texas A&M's Fruit and Vegetable Improvement Center. "Watermelon may not be as organ-specific as Viagra, but it's a great way to relax blood vessels without any drug side effects."

Of course most of the ingredient - arginine - is contained in the rind, but you can get enough in the flesh. If you eat six cupfuls. But I'm willing to humor him - the article says there's more of this Arginine in the yellow-fleshed watermelons. So it looks like we're going to the farmers' market this weekend ...

Wires, Wires, everywhere

I'm married to a Gizmo phreak, and by default I've obtained quite a few 'gizmo's' of my own - like my blue tooth wireless headphones, the e-Reader I just blogged about, a tiny wallet-sized digital photo frame I got for Mother's Day, my MP3 player, my PDA, my cell phone and my laptop, amongst other gadgets. I won't even begin to enumerate Gizmo Guy's! The problem is that each one of them requires their own specific (and usually large!) AC adapter. (I can't even think about the mesh bag of orphaned adapters behind the office door. Were they from some of Gizmo Guy's various cordless phones? From old computer accessories we've dumped? I have NO idea.)

A lot of these devices also come with USB cables. My computer has six - count 'em - SIX ports and yesterday Gizmo guy had to install a 7 port USB hub on my computer as I ran out of slots! Trying to figure out which cable led to which device was like following a maze.

I've run out of plugs on the huge surge suppressor beneath my desk, so now I have to run around the house looking for an unused plug (not an easy thing to find these days considering the electrical devices we have.) But the biggest problem is finding which adapter fits which device. I'm starting to think I need to create a label for each one and buy a drawer or basket system to store them in so I don't lose them or plug the wrong adapter into the wrong device and blow up the battery. Not to mention my desktop is now covered with cables, and my feet are constantly entangled when I stick them under my desk. I can't count the number of times I've gotten caught up in a cable and then gone to move and dragged darned near half the contents of the top of my desk onto the floor.

Does anyone else have this problem? Or is it just one of the perks of living with a Gizmo phreak? And if you have the same challenge, what do you do to keep all the adapters and cables straight?

Happy Canada Day

Or for those of us old enough to remember ... Happy Dominion Day!

And if you're bored? Here's a quiz to test your knowledge of Canada. (I got 11 out of 16 correct, but I have to admit, some I had to guess at.)