I read Dear Abby. And a lot of times I agree with her. Sometimes I don't. The other day, I just couldn't agree with her.
Here's a link to the article, and here's the specific letter that sparked a discussion with Gizmo Guy and I.
DEAR ABBY: I'm 13, and I have a problem with my parents. They have been having sex. That's not the problem, except for the fact that they don't wait for me to fall asleep before doing it. Tonight they had sex before saying goodnight! How do I confront them about this? -- FREAKED OUT INOkay. Gizmo Guy and I have been married 30 years next month. We have two children - well, they're not little kids anymore since they're 23 and 17. The 23 year old works nights, and when he didn't (was in college) he stayed up all night anyway. The 17 year old is at school during the day, and now stays up later than we do watching TV in the room directly beneath our bedroom. In other words, there's ALWAYS someone around, and awake, when we are. Yet according to Abby, we're supposed to wait until they're asleep before we can have ... um ... conjugal relations. .
DEAR FREAKED OUT: Tonight at dinner, say, "Mom, Dad, I think it's time we talked about the facts of life. The first fact of life is, I'm not deaf."
Do we? NO. Because they're never asleep!
(Okay, warning - here's the TMI part) It's not like we stand in the middle of the room and announce "We're going upstairs to have sex!" We do try to be discreet, but for Pete's sake, our bed squeaks and there is NO way we can stop it, believe me, we've tried. And forget finding other rooms or places in the house because there is ALWAYS a kid around on one floor or another! (Thank GOD we're going away for our anniversary next month! We decided upon Quebec City, by the way.)
So if Curly had written that letter and showed it to me, I'd have told him "Look. Just think how lucky you are you have a mother and father who still love each other enough after 30 years to still ...um ... do it. Turn on your radio or something. But live with it!"
So on a totally rhetorical note (thankfully Curly has never said anything) - if your kid came to you and said what Dear Abby recommended -- what would you say or do?