Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

May you find happiness, success and serenity in 2008!

Dissecting 2007s booklist

As you'll see in the post below, I've read 104 books this year. (I would have read more, especially e-books but my pockets contain mainly lint these days.) Actually I've probably read a few more than those on the list - I often forget to write down books I've read and then scramble later to remember them. I also didn't include books that I'd re-read if I'd first read them in previous years. For instance, upon hearing of Kathleen Woodiwiss' death, I re-read her first book - and my introduction to romances - The Flame and the Flower. My multiple readings of Diana Gabaldon's Outlander weren't added either. And this year I was able to not only re-read the novel but to listen to it as well thanks to Gizmo Guy's present of the Audio book - a wonderful reading by Davina Porter who has a knack with accents and gives each character his or her own 'voice'.

Nor have I kept track of the number of times I've read a book - Christine d'Abo's The Bond that Tie Us, or Robin Rotham's Alien Overnight, both of which I've read at least three times. Lynsay Sand's Single White Vampire - at least twice, and ALL of JR Ward's books between two and four times each, Rhage's story at least six times.

The top of the list of my favourite 'discoveries' this year is *nod to Wylie's recommendation here* JR Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood series. I am still amazed at how Ms. Ward managed to make Vishous - who is such a flawed character that technically he should qualify as Valedictorian for Hannibal Lecter's School of Serial Killers - someone the reader cares about, feels compassion for. I read Lover Unbound four times the first week because I just HAD to figure out how she made what should have been an unredeemable character likeable. All because of something most writing teachers say to avoid - flashbacks. Yeah, sure, I have to snicker at the cheesy names, and the Valley Girl speech from vampires who were all born hundreds of years ago in Europe, but she writes the characters so well that I can ignore that.

My whole family has started reading Robert B. Parker's Jesse Stone novels - Night Passage, Trouble in Paradise, Death in Paradise, Stone Cold, Sea Change - that's all I've managed to get my hands on so far, according to the bookstore clerks his books fly off the shelves faster than they can stock them. With a brilliance of simplicity, Parker has created a narrative that reflects the main character's laid back personality. He'll have short scenes between two characters with not much happening yet it's a powerful scene - one comes to mind where two cops are on a stake-out and are discussing how one got a nickname of Suitcase. If I wrote that scene, I'd probably look at it and take it out thinking it didn't advance the plot, yet it added such a full-bodied flavour to the story. Guess that's why he's a bestselling author. (By the way, they've made four movies so far with Tom Selleck as Jesse Stone. If you get a chance to see them, take a moment, not only for the great storytelling but also because they're filmed in Nova Scotia which stands in for Massachusetts. The movies are amazingly faithful to the books - with a few exceptions. Stone Cold - a chilling look at thrill killing - actually has a more satisfying ending in the movie than the book.)

Included in a package sent by my editing partner Marley were quite a few books by Susan Elizabeth Phillips. I fell in love with Bobby Tom Denton in Heaven Texas, and howled with laughter in It Had to be You.

Another book that has a firm place on my 'keeper shelf' I discovered during Margie Lawson's Deep EDITS course. Marley and I were wrestling with getting emotion into our writing when she recommended that I read Kathleen Korbel (a pen name of Eileen Dreyer). I searched the used book shops and found an ancient copy of A Soldier's Heart. Released in 1994, it's the story of two Viet Nam veterans who are still struggling with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome twenty some years after the war. It was so powerfully emotional that at times I found myself rubbing the heel of my hand across my chest as if I was trying to ease the ache that had formed there.

BlueSue and another critique partner, Terri, both recommended that I read Patricia Briggs. After repeated mentions in emails and in person during my trip to Texas, I finally got off my duff and found Dragon Blood and Dragon Bones, a medieval fantasy series - they were ... okay. But I loved Patricia's contemporary Mercedes Thompson shapeshifter/vampire/werewolf series - Blood Bound, and Moon Called. I'm looking forward to the next in the series Iron Kissed which is to be released next month.

I've noticed WHAT I read has changed too. Last year my list contained mainly historicals and fantasies, very few contemporaries unless they were in the non-romance genre. This year not only were there a lot of contemporaries, but - surprise, surprise - a lot of vampire novels have muscled their way in. Now I'd tried to read vampire stories before by authors such as Ann Rice and Maggie Shayne but I just couldn't get into them. I found nothing sexy in vampires at all. But this year I fell in love with JR Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood and Lynsay Sands' sometimes hilarious Argeneau series (set in Toronto - I knew there was a reason for TO's long underground PATH other than just avoiding bad weather. Local vampires use it to avoid sunlight!)

On the downside, I found some authors rather hit-and-miss. I'd like one book, then not the next. If the number of books I didn't like exceeded the number of books by that author that I did like, I dropped the author. A couple big names dropped off my list this year. Ah, well, reading is subjective.

But that's all right. There's so many great authors out there,and my friends offering such great suggestions that I'm sure I'll not be left without something to read. My To Be Read pile already includes Sue Grafton's latest Kinsey Millhone novel - T is for Trespass, and I'm in the middle of Jeffrey Deaver's The Sleeping Doll . The rest of Nevada Barr's Anna Pigeon series are still on the list too. Along with the next in the Jack Absolute series by Canadian author CC Humphreys. Everyone keeps talking about Harlan Coben, so he'll probably go on the list. If Red Garnier is as prodigious as she has been this year, there's probably another good dozen purchases there. And I'm anxiously awaiting the release of Christine's next 'Bond' series - especially the third in the series, Taber's story. Let's not forget the almost breathless anticipation for Robin Rotham's sequel to Alien Overnight. Amy Ruttan's got a book -- no, 2, isn't it? -- coming out next year from EC & Cerridwen.

Any other suggestions?

Books I've read in 2007

Since I'll have to replace the list to the right on Tuesday with the new 'Books I've read in 2008' list, for posterity, here's a list of what I've read in 2007. (That I can remember anyway.)

1. A Bite to Remember by Lynsay Sands
2. A Quick Bite by Lynsay Sands
3. A Scoundrel's Kiss by Margaret Moore
4. A Soldier's Heart by Kathleen Korbel
5. A Superior Death by Nevada Barr
6. Absolute Honour by CC Humphreys
7. Alien Overnight by Robin Rotham
8. An Unmistakable Rogue by Annette Blaire
9. Antonia's Bargain by Kate Pearce
10. Anyone But You by Jennifer Crusie
11. Be Mine Tonight by Kathryn Smith
12. Beyond Seduction by Stephanie Laurens
13. Bite Me If You Can by Lynsay Sands
14. Blood Bound by Patricia Briggs
15. Blooding of Jack Absolute by CC Humphreys
16. Breathing Room by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
17. Chasing Phoenix by Christine d'Abo
18. Crazy for You by Jennifer Crusie
19. Dance with the Devil by Sherrilyn Kenyon
20. Dangerous Temptations by Kathleen Korbel
21. Dark Desires by Eve Silver
22. Dark Lover by JR Ward
23. Dark Side of the Moon by Sherrilyn Kenyon
24. Death in Paradise by Robert B. Parker
25. Destiny by Design by Wylie Kinson
26. Double Dare by Tawny Weber
27. Dragon Bones by Patricia Briggs
28. Dream a Little Dream by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
29. Dream Hunter by Sherrilyn Kenyon
30. Eden's Pleasure by Kate Pearce
31. Faking it by Jennifer Crusie
32. Family, Sex and Marriage in England 1500-1800 (Unabridged) by Lawrence Stone
33. Fantasy Lover by Sherrilyn Kenyon
34. Fear the Darkness (a short story) by Sherrilyn Kenyon
35. Hard Truth by Nevada Barr
36. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by JK Rowling
37. Heaven Texas by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
38. Heroes and Heroines: Sixteen Master Archetypes by Tami Cowden
39. Hers to Command by Margaret Moore
40. Highlander Untamed by Monica McCarty
41. His Dark Kiss by Eve Silver
42. Hominids by Robert J. Sawyer
43. Honey Moon by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
44. If this Bed Could Talk Anthology
45. In the Bed of a Duke by Cathy Maxwell
46. In the Prince's Bed by Sabrina Jeffries
47. Into the Darkness by Delilah Devlin
48. It Had to be You by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
49. Jacob's Faith by Lora Leigh
50. Kiss of the Night by Sherrilyn Kenyon
51. Klondike Doctor by Kate Bridges
52. Lady Be Good by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
53. Last of the Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper
54. Lightning that Lingers by Sharon and Tom Curtis
55. London: A Social History by Roy Porter
56. Love Bites by Lynsay Sands
57. Lover Awakened by JR Ward
58. Lover Eternal by JR Ward
59. Lover Revealed by JR Ward
60. Lover Unbound by JR Ward
61. Masque of Desire by Amy Ruttan
62. Match Me If You Can by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
63. Messenger of Truth by Jacqueline Winspear
64. Moon Called by Patricia Briggs
65. My Lord's Desire by Margaret Moore
66. Night Embrace by Sherrilyn Kenyon
67. Night Passage by Robert B. Parker
68. Night Play by Sherrilyn Kenyon
69. Night Pleasures by Sherrilyn Kenyon
70. Nobody's Baby But Mine by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
71. Reading People by Jo-Ellan Dimitrius
72. Sea Change by Robert B. Parker
73. Secret Passion of Simon Blackwell by Samantha James
74. Secret Services by Margrett Dawson
75. Secrets Volume 14 Anthology
76. Secrets Volume 5 Anthology
77. Secrets Volume 8 Anthology
78. Seize the Night by Sherrilyn Kenyon
79. Shameless by Suzanne Forster
80. Simple Gifts by Kathleen Korbel
81. Sin by Sharon Page
82. Single White Vampire by Lynsay Sands
83. Some Men's Dreams by Kathleen Korbel
84. Spin Devil by Red Garnier
85. Spin It Again by Red Garnier
86. Stone Cold by Robert B. Parker
87. Stroke of Midnight by Red Garnier
88. Surrender to a Scoundrel by Julianne MacLean
89. Tall Dark and Hungry by Lynsay Sands
90. Tell Me Lies by Jennifer Crusie
91. The Bonds That Tie Us by Christine d'Abo
92. The Leopard Prince by Elizabeth Hoyt
93. The Naked Duke by Sally MacKenzie
94. The Price of Indiscretion by Cathy Maxwell
95. The Taste of Innocence by Stephanie Laurens
96. This Heart of Mine by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
97. To Rescue a Rogue by Jo Beverley
98. Track of the Cat by Nevada Barr
99. Trouble in Paradise by Robert B. Parker
100. Trust Me On This by Jennifer Crusie
101. Unleash the Night by Sherrilyn Kenyon
102. Victim of Deception by Lynn LaFleur
103. Wolf's Hope by Lora Leigh
104. Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

Roaming Gnome

We had a good Christmas Day (although Boxing Day sucked because I had the flu for a couple days.)

Now, it's common in our household to play games with our presents - a few years ago I gave Gizmo Guy a new computer and forced him to go on a treasure hunt throughout the house for the various components, each time he found one, he'd find a poem attached that would give him a clue to the location of the next. This year Guitar Hero'd decided to wrap his girlfriend Blue Monkey's presents up individually and put them all in a huge box he'd gotten ahold of at work. It was at least four foot high and several foot square.

So while Guitar Hero was out at Blue Monkey's home for Christmas Eve dinner, I was sitting in the living room wrapping up the last few prezzies, staring at the massive box that was taking over the room. I made a random comment to Curly (youngest son) about how we should play a similar trick on Guitar Hero to give him a taste of his own medicine.

With input from Curly and Gizmo Guy, the plotting began. A few weeks before, Blue Monkey had given Guitar Hero a tiny garden gnome figure. For those uninitiated, it's common for garden gnomes to be stolen and sent around the world, their pictures being sent back to the owners of the gnome at the Eiffel Tower or the Great Wall of China. GH's little gnome has seen no such exotic sites - yet - he has however been found on Gizmo Guy's pillow (not my doing), in the butter dish (not my doing either), and on the roll of toilet paper in the main bathroom (again, not me! Honest!).

We finally decided that the gnome needed to get his own back on Guitar Hero for all those stunts by hiding the amplifier he'd be getting for Christmas.

We wrapped a box the same size as the amp and put it in exactly the same spot where the amp had been sitting beneath the tree. Even put the same bow on it. And just in case GH decided to try to move the present, Curly added forty pounds of GG's weights to the box to mimic the real amp's weight. And made sure that the gnome left a ransom note inside the fake present telling Guitar Hero that he could 'amplify' his happiness by finding both the gnome and the present. We then puzzled out various devious places to hide the real present.

Guitar Hero came home that night and noticed the wrapped box and laughed but didn't suspect a thing. Christmas morning we all waited with baited breath when GH finally opened the present (saving it til last of course) and reached his hand into the box. The puzzlement on his face when his hand encountered nothing was priceless. It took him at least 10 - 15 minutes, and more than a few clues before he finally discovered the 'gnome's' hiding place in the crawlspace almost directly beneath where he'd been sitting.

Guitar Hero and his amp have been happily reunited and the gnome is satisfied that he's exacted his revenge.

Until next time that is. I'm pretty sure that gnome is going to crop up again.

In the Company of genius ...

Pop on over to Christine d'Abo's blog for a picture taken at the annual TRW Christmas Society. You'll be able to put faces to names you see regularly on this blog - Christine, Wylie Kinson, Amy Ruttan, Savannah Chase, and Bonnie Staring. (Ignore the figure on the far right of the group.)

Merry Christmas - and Happy Solstice

So it's finally winter. Reports say our area has had 55 cm of snow already when last year we'd had less than 1 cm. *grumble grumble* All right, maybe it's treasonous for a Canadian to admit it, but I'm not a fan of snow. Except at Christmas time. I love snow on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. But that's it. After that it can just go away.

I'm rather glad we've got snow this year, it'll help me keep in a more seasonally festive mood.

My shopping's done - all right - truthfully, it's never done with me. When the kids were little I'd start shopping in June using layaway and declare myself done in October. But I'd always find little things that I just had to buy. I'd still like to get a few more stocking stuffers - like today I picked up a book for Gizmo Guy - Sue Grafton's latest. (Don't worry, he doesn't read my blog. Besides he was with me when I bought it, so it's not like I'm ruining the surprise.) But I don't plan on hitting any more stores. We drove Guitar Hero to work last night (he works at a local mall) and even though it was 11 p.m. the parking lots were as full as a Saturday afternoon. I hate to think what they will look like tomorrow. I'm not going near 'em.

Now begins the baking - the standard Chocolate macaroons (see Wylie's page, she's got the exact same recipe that I use), and Cherry Jewel bars, and Pizza cookies (so named because you bake one huge cookie in a pizza pan and then cut it up in pizza-like slices), Nanaimo bars, shortbreads, home made chocolate fudge, home made peanut brittle, etc. etc. But usually I can get it all done in a day.

I'm looking forward to having a nice quiet Christmas - just GG and the boys, and probably Guitar Hero's girlfriend (yes, they're back together again after having split up for a couple of months.) I'm going to forget all the stress of the past two months (or at least try) and just enjoy myself.

I'll be around - sort of - so if I don't get to your blog, I'll catch up with you later. But in the meantime *raising a glass of coconut rum and ginger ale* here's wishing you a happy and stress-free Christmas.

D'oh!

Busy day today - started off down at the mall finishing off my Christmas shopping. Surprisingly enough I found a parking spot right by the door, there was only one person in line before me - the mall was empty.

Woohoo! Less stress.

Then I had to meet my mother this afternoon to take her to the accountants'. We arrived 25 minutes early so we sat in the car and talked for a while. When we finally got out of the car, I shut the door and immediately swore. Because I didn't follow my usual routine in shutting off the car, getting out etc. I hadn't removed the keys from the ignition. I looked through the window -- yup, there they were swinging from the ignition switch. And yup, all the doors were locked. Strike that bit about 'less stress.'

Where was the spare key? 1 1/2 hour away to the north in Gizmo Guy's pocket. So do I call Gizmo Guy and plead with him to leave work early? Um, no, can't. You see the cell phone is in eldest son's coat pocket instead of the cell phone compartment of my purse. And I don't know Gizmo Guy's phone number - in this day of IM's I never have to phone him and when I do, the number to his office and his berry is programmed into my home phone and my cell phone so I've never managed to memorize anything more than the area code.

So I have to eat a little humble pie and ask the receptionist to call someone to help me break into my car and retrieve my keys. 35 minutes and $70 later I had an interesting lesson on how to break into a car using the proper breaking-in tools (there are several he tried before he got in) as well as a demonstration in lock picking. (Forget what you see on TV of them manipulating the lock and breaking in in 30 seconds. Doesn't happen.)

Hey, Gizmo Guy? I've got a present idea for you ... like maybe renewing our membership to CAA...

One week to go ...

Red posted a red Christmas tree on her blog a while back and said I should post a picture of my tree. Here's one when my eldest was five years old - this is before our second son came along.

We always used to have a live Christmas tree - dating back from the first Christmas Gizmo Guy and I were together in 1976. Christmas at my parents' house was rarely a joyous occasion and the year I met GG, I was determined to change that. I'd just got my licence so we went out and cut down own tree, set it up and decorated it. Now that wasn't a big thing, you see I lived in the middle of Christmas Tree Country. All my neighbours had Christmas Tree farms where you could go cut your own for $2. The ones they cut ended up being shipped by train down to places like Texas and sold for $20. (This was in the 70s, they're a bit pricier now.)

I wrote in a previous blog (Ahoy Mateys, Christmas Meme) the story about how Gizmo Guy surprised me with a Christmas tree the first Christmas we were married. Every year since, we would bundle the boys up and drive to a local Christmas tree farm and let the kids choose one and it was always ALWAYS perfect. Even if the trunk was crooked or there was bare spot somewhere. But about 6 years ago, our dog decided the perfect place to sleep was under the tree, and invariably at some point during the night she'd stand up and knock it - and the container of water it was standing in - over. Between mopping up the sopping carpet and the fact that most of the Christmas tree farms have been encroached upon by the city and it takes a lot of driving to go 'cut-your-own' we decided it was time to change that tradition.

So we switched to this tree - an artificial. (By the way, the lean is the fault of the picture taker, not the tree.) I like the artificial because we can put it up a lot sooner and I'm not vacuuming up (and stepping on) pine needles for the rest of the year. Most of the ornaments are home made. I do embroidery and so many of the ornaments are ones I've embroidered, others are plaster ornaments the boys have painted. Hopefully they'll be around for a long long time and will be treasured on the boys' trees in years to come. I try to add a new one every year.

I also start my baking about a week before Christmas. I used to start a lot sooner, beginning with a gingerbread house every year. That also started the first year I met Gizmo Guy - I made two and gave one to Gizmo Guy's sister. I'd put it on a foil-covered board and she put it on her side board and stuck important papers - tickets, papers etc. under it for the month. Then while they were visiting the grandparents on Christmas Day a fire started in her house. While the gingerbread house itself didn't survive, all the papers - including her insurance and several other really important papers survived because of that foil covered board.

I continued that tradition up until about 7 years ago when the boys decided they'd rather just have the candy and forego the house. That was all right with me - making a gingerbread house from scratch takes a LOT of planning and work. In addition to the gingerbread, I make chocolate macaroons, peanut butter cookies, Cherry Jewel bars, peanut brittle, chocolate fudge, shortbread, peanut butter logs, marshmallow logs, coconut ice ... I know I'm forgetting something. So you can see why I spend a week in the kitchen. And why none of the Braemel family moves for about a week afterward.

You'll notice there is already a present under this year's tree - that's one of Guitar Hero's prezzies. In the past, we'd only have a few presents under the tree before Christmas, usually one for each of us to open on Christmas Eve. Then, after the boys left hay and carrots outside for the reindeer and finally fell asleep asleep, Gizmo Guy and I would sneak the rest of the presents past the boys' bedrooms and arrange them so when they awoke there'd be a mountain of presents under the tree, along with a handwritten letter from Santa beside the finished glass of milk and cookies. And sure enough there would always be reindeer tracks in the snow beside the hay.

So what traditions do you have?

And the nail biting begins...

About this time last year, I made a New Year's resolution to get serious about my writing with the ultimate goal of submitting something to an agent or editor. I started off by joining the RWA and the Toronto Romance Writers. And immediately realized just how much I still had to learn. Oh, sure, I knew about passive vs active verbs, and voice, and tense, and point-of-view. But the writers' group I used to belong to never mentioned anything about how to write a winning synopses. Or even how to write a good query letter. So I've spent the year climbing a really steep learning curve.

Somehow I found myself pitching a story to an editor in Dallas at the RWA conference in July. I'm still shaking my head over just how that happened (blame -- or credit -- my writing buddies Sue and Terri) though I wouldn't trade that experience for anything in the world. Especially when I remember that knee-shaking/heart-stopping moment when the editor actually asked for a partial. (I'm still waiting to find out that manuscript's fate, but I'm just happy that it's not been rejected yet.)

Today I can proudly say I've overachieved on my resolution. (I wish I could say the same about my resolution to lose weight!) I submitted my short story Private Property to Ellora's Cave for their Jewel of the Nile birthstone series. Even though I had submitted a manuscript back in July, I found it nerve wracking to actually click on that send button and send my latest baby off into the ether. My heart is still racing. For those of you who have been doing this longer than I have -- does it get any easier?

Hey Santa!

An Australian Christmas Carol by the Canadian team Bowser and Blue ... a way to end your week on a lighthearted note (yes, it's been cleaned up with some amusing sounds, but I have heard the uncensored version - it's a classic in the Braemel household!)

Women ... from a guy's POV

Gizmo Guy sent me this in an email, since it gave me a chuckle I thought I'd share it with you.

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

1. 40-ish......................49
2. Adventurous..........Slept with everyone
3. Athletic....................No tits
4. Average looking......Ugly
5. Beautiful..................Pathological liar
6. Contagious Smile.....Does a lot of pills
7. Emotionally secure...On medication
8. Feminist.....................Fat
9. Free spirit.................Junkie
10. Friendship first......Former very *friendly* person
11. Fun...........................Annoying
12. New Age.................Body hair in the wrong places
13. Open-minded..........Desperate
14. Outgoing..................Loud and Embarrassing
15. Passionate...............Sloppy drunk
16. Professional............Bitch
17. Voluptuous.............Very Fat
18. Large frame...........Hugely Fat
19. Wants Soul mate......Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
1. Yes...................No
2. No....................Yes
3. Maybe.................No
4. We need...............I want
5. I am sorry............You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk.......You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead........You better not
8. Do what you want......You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset........Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight.......Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry.............................I am hungry
2. I am sleepy.............................I am sleepy
3. I am tired..............................I am tired
4. Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!
5. I love you..............................Let's have sex now
6. I am bored..............................Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance?...........I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? .......I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? ....I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner?....I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit..I'm gay

And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.

For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.

However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.


(I really hope he realizes this is a joke ... especially that last one. I wonder where I left those scissors ...)

Here's a Christmas Recipe for you ...

Red and several other bloggers I visit have been offering recipes for Christmas ... here's one of my favourites:


Tequila Christmas Cookies

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
1 tbsp lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup of nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle of Tequila

Sample the Tequila in a large glass to check quality

Take a large bowl, and check the Tequila again, to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

At this point, it's best to make sure the tequila is still ok, so try another cup.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit and damn cup off the floor.

Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.

Check the Tequila

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner

Put the bowl through the window, finish off the booze and make sure to put the dirty stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS TO ALL!

Life with Gizmo Guy

What Will Be in Your Christmas Stocking?

Found this over on Tempest's Midnight Moon Cafe:

Your Christmas Stocking Will Be Filled With Little Wrapped Presents

You've made Santa a very happy fellow this year. Don't worry - what happens at the North Pole stays at the North Pole!

What Will Be In Your Christmas Stocking?

Canajun, eh?

I sent my Jewel story off to my editing partners so they can tear it apart. During one scene, the heroine is wearing a toque to cover her hair as she's breaking into a house. I was taken aback when Marley (from the US) said "what's a toque?" while Sue thought it might be kind of kinky to have the heroine wearing a pastry on her head.

After years of watching toque-wearing Bob and Doug McKenzie on SCTV, and watching every burglar on TV pulling on their ubiquitous black toque, I thought everyone would know what a toque was. So I started looking for web references to 'toque'. Ooops. According to Wikipedia toque is a Canadian word - specifically a French Canadian word. Who knew?! Guess I'll be changing toque to 'knit cap' so readers will know I'm not referring to a dessert or some kinky bondage device. (By the way, for those who don't know the word, it's pronounced with a long oo sound, the same way as you pronounce Luke. Or that lovely little hobbit Peregrine Took.)

Ever since I started thinking about it, I've had that darned Bob and Doug McKenzie theme song running through my head ... co co co co co co roo roo ... well, here, you have to listen to it for yourself.

Those Lovely Six Letters

Happy Dance time.

It's done! After a lot of stops and starts - mainly stops thanks to NaNo and all that family cr*p that's going on - the story I'd shoved it aside telling myself I'd get back to it 'soon' is finally done! I actually typed "The End".

I still want to send it out to my editing partners for a final once-over, and I've got to find some sort of title, but the worst part is over. And I've still got three weeks before the submission deadline. Yeah, I know, that's still cutting it close the way my life's going, but Hallelujah, at least I can say I've accomplished something!

Hibernating

I was supposed to be out on these roads today driving my mother around but Mother Nature sent us snow and freezing rain as one of our first winter challenges.

As a kid I used to love winter. I especially enjoyed snow days when the snowplows couldn't get down our backroads and the school buses were cancelled. Then I'd be found toboganning or cross-country skiing down the hills that formed my parents' acreage, I'd lace up my skates and whirl around on the ponds in the area, or sometimes even the smooth icy surface that created itself naturally on my parents' front lawn. A real treat was having the snowstorm hit while you're in school and the only way you could get home was to be taken home on the back of a snowmobile. That was so cool! (Did anyone else have snowmobile driving lessons as part of their elementary school education? I did!)

But as an adult, I've turned into a big old brown bear and hibernate. I dislike the cold, I dislike the snow and I especially dislike freezing rain. I really resent being the designated driveway shoveller even though I'm the only female in a houseful of males. (How did that happen anyway?) I am terrified of having to drive around town in the sleet and ice. It scares me to get emails like this one from Gizmo Guy:

Just about got killed at the corner by us.

Was stopped at the corner - waiting for light - turned green - pulled about 5 feet out - out of the corner of my eye saw a pickup doing about 60 - he goes into a skid - I stop - he is skidding right towards my door - then he manages to swerve around me.

[Note, this is a particularly bad corner in our city - people have been hit and killed by red-light runners in GOOD weather, it's in a valley between two hills, so in bad weather it's treacherous]

Go down to the hwy 2 - was going to park in the covered lot across the road - firetrucks and police all in front of it - some big accident.

So I go to midtown - and there is a little hill before you cross the bridge (walking now) - gust of wind come up and blows me back off of it. I managed to stay on my feet - not sure how.

And this after waking up at 5 a.m. listening to a gale whipping around outside and something hitting the roof right above our bedroom. It sounded like our chimney was collapsing (it goes up the outside wall of our bedroom, and we know it needs repointing but keep putting it off.) I had to get up and get dressed and trudge outside into the biting cold to determine that no, it wasn't the chimney. But we have no idea what kept banging and skittering across the roof - possibly sheets of ice were dislodging?

Yup, definitely a good day to enjoy my favourite winter activity - I'm going to hibernate.

So I'm cuddled up in my lazy-boy reclining chair with my laptop on ... well, on my lap as I edit Delving Deep yet again, the gas fireplace is burning (occasionally anyway, it keeps cutting in and out - really need to get that looked at one day), and have a cup of hot chocolate on the table beside me in my Tim Horton's mug.

And when the wind whistles too loudly or the fireplace cuts out again, I'll take the time to stare at my screen saver slideshow of the photos I took in Dallas in July of this year or in the Virgin Islands in 2003, or Washington in August 2003, or New Orleans one muggy week in 2000, Disneyworld in 1995, or San Diego and Los Angeles in 1993. Everywhere I've ever been that's warm.

I mean, be honest ... would you rather be here, with a temperature that's dropped 7 degrees Celsius in 6 hours, with storm warnings of freezing rain and blowing snow and gale force winds?



OR would you rather be snorkelling the blue waters off Turtle Beach on St. John's island of the US Virgin Islands?