Thursday Thirteen #4 - Strange Facts on Animal's Mating Habits

I'm writing a story about a merman, and thought I'd try to figure out some kinky little habit a merman might have in mating that's different from your average male. So I turned to google and wow, there are some very strange rituals/habits.

1. Anglerfish - the male is born with extremely well developed olfactory organs (it means he can sniff out a female) They have no stomach or digestive system and are dependent upon finding a female in order to survive. They sniff out the pheromones of a female and then bites into her flank and releases an enzyme that digests the skin of his mouth and her body and they end up fused down to the blood vessel level. (eeeww) . Basically all that is left of the male is his gonads which release sperm into the female.

2. HoneyBee and Male Wasp Spider: The queen of the colony will select a drone to mate with - but that drone's genitals will actually explode and snap off inside her, plugging her, preventing other drones from fertilizing her. So the old expression about a guy dying to have sex -- yup!

3. Bonobo (or Pygmy Chimpanzee) uses sex as a day-to-day method of communication. According to Wikipedia, and a few other sources, sex is used as a greeting, for conflict resolution and post-conflict reconciliation. Females will trade favours in exchange for food. And they will engage in face-to-face genital sex (rare amongst animals), including female-female, male-female and male-male), tongue kissing and oral sex. (male-male sex is sometimes referred to as penis fencing!)

4. the Argonaut (a type of octopus) has a detachable penis. If the male sees a female it likes, it detaches its penis and the penis swims over to the female all by itself.

5. The Argentine Lake Duck has the world's longest penis of all vertebrates in relation to his body length. The penis coils up but when extended, can equal the length of the duck - which is up to 17 inches long.

6. Porcupines: Remember the old joke about how Porcupines do it? Veeerrry Carefully? It's a bit more gross than that. The male will spray the female from top to bottom with a huge quantity of his urine - they can spray from up to 7 feet away. The female can accept the urine, or shake it off, to beat the male up. And this can go on for weeks. The actual act? The spines and quills of the female relax and go flat and the male enters from behind. The female apparently doesn't like it if the male tires and will bug him to continue (does this sound familiar?) If he's ... um, tuckered out, she'll find another male to mate with.

7. Gorilla males have a penis only 1 1/2 inches long - but he's usually surrounded by 30 - 50 females and no males. So the females can't complain too loudy. But if you want to insult a guy, this would be a great one that I'll bet not many guys would get.

8. Male Garter Snakes have two penises! One on each side of their body. The female releases a pheromone that attracts all the males in the area to her and they create a huge 'mating ball' that can be as high as two feet tall. Sometimes the female can get crushed beneath all those males - who won't care and will continue mating with her body.

9. Hyena females have labia that resemble a scrotum, and testes. And their clitoris is so long it rivals the size of a males penis and can be fully erectile. During mating, the 'pseudopenis' retracts like a "shirt sleeve being pushed up and during birth it stretches so much it looks like a water balloon" [source]

10. Giraffes: The male will take a mouthful of the females urine and taste it. If it tastes good to him then he'll begin courting her. Eeewww!

11. The dolphin has a retractable penis. And it's prehensile. Which means it can behave like a finger and swivel around. They can mate often, and do, but they don't last very long - in fact only 12 seconds. Typical male!

12. Geese and Gulls often exhibit homosexual behaviour. Two male geese may form a bond, a female may insert herself in their mating behaviour and be accepted by them and the three of them may form a family, while up to 15% of Santa Barbara Seagulls exhibit lesbian behaviour, even to the point of laying sterile eggs.

13. I saved the best for last: the turtle - the biggest neck wins. The male will bob his head and bellow, then when he's attracted a female, he'll snip at her until she withdraws her legs (which means she can't escape him) And then mating can apparently last for hours. (What do you expect, he's a turtle, he's gonna move slow) Frustrated males who can't find a mate have been observed humping rocks, LOL.

Weekly Goals

Well, I met 'most' of my goals last week. And boy, did I ever exceed my word goal. I'd set a 10K limit for myself not really expecting to reach it, but I hoped I would. Well, I reached almost 20K. 19,700 to be exact. Woohoo, or Woot! as Wylie says. (I like that one, Wylie). I cleaned up and entered my very first contest (see below). Not the one I had in my goals, but this one closed before the one I'd listed. Still I entered a contest, so I figure that counts. And I drafted a very short blurb - boy are they hard - summarizing my current story. Not bad, that's three out of four, I think.

I did some research into Mary Altman, who I'm meeting with in Dallas. She's looking for erotica, but she's also interested in Historicals - traditional regencies to be exact for their new Cotillion line. I do have my original gargoyle story, pre-paranormal version, but I'm going to have to work like a SOB to make sure it's ready to go. I mean, it's finished, but yikes. So goals for this week:

1) Decide whether or not to enter the Vixen contest as I'd thought last week. I'm still unsure, it's a bit pricey.
2) Write Write and Write some more. Finish the current erotica story which is definitely going to be more than the 15K I'd figured it would be, will now be between 20 - 25K, but that's pretty much there - at 18K already. Everything's storyboarded out, now it's just filling in the detail.
3) Edit Edit Edit my gargoyle story, especially the first three chapters in case Mary wants them submitted, but all of it needs to be smoothed out.

And I think that's a lot for now. I've got two courses coming up that are going to take up some of my writing/editing time next month, so I want to get those done before I get distracted.

Oh, and I guess Goal #4 might be not to stress too much about all this.

This is ... awkward

Since I've got my laptop, I've found I love writing on it out in my family room instead of the cave of an office we have. But there are several problems with that. The main one is other people wander in and out and interrupt my train of thought. But there are occasions when I want to write a particular type of scene that gets more graphic than I'm comfortable admitting that I write to my sons, or even my husband.

So I close up my laptop and head for my desktop. At least I can close the door and work in relative privacy because my kids know that closed door means I don't want to be disturbed - thank goodness I don't have little ones, then I'd never do that.

Except on the weekends, my husband will often trail me into the office and sit down at his computer. His desk is kitty corner to mine, so he sits almost directly beside me and with a slight turn of his head can read my monitor. Which he's doing now.

While I was working on a particularly graphic sex scene taking place on a beach with the heroine, well, going down on the hero.

Now I write these stories with full knowledge that other people - people I know, and meet face to face at TRW - will read it. Yeah, I know they may look at me and wonder ... hmmm but it doesn't particularly bother me because they write stuff like that too. So why is it different when it's my husband of 29 years reading such a scene? It's not like we've never had sex. Why do I have an automatic reflex of shrinking the screen down and pretending I'm checking my email?

Does anyone else experience this? Or is it just me?

**Added later: Hubby left and I got down to some very productive writing. (Ooops, sorry, bad unintentional pun there.) Another 4,000 words today, and hit the 15,000 word mark on this story alone - which means I've written over 17K for the week! Only a couple scenes left to write on this short story, and those have been fairly thoroughly outlined. But I figure it'll end up at about 20K. I'm going to start work on a short synopsis for it tonight.

One Word Meme

Ooops, I told Amy she could tag me on this and then forgot to actually hit the 'publish' button yesterday. Sorry about that Amy.

1. WHERE IS YOUR CELL PHONE?: Son
2. RELATIONSHIP?: Strong
3. YOUR HAIR?: messy
4. WORK?: House
5. YOUR SISTER?: Nutjob
6. YOUR FAVORITE THING?: Laptop
7. YOUR DREAM LAST NIGHT?: Erotic
8. YOUR FAVORITE DRINK?: Tea
9. YOUR DREAM CAR?: Truck
10. THE ROOM YOU'RE IN?: Outdoors
11. YOUR SHOES?: None
12. YOUR FEARS?: Heights
13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE IN 10 YEARS?: Alive
14. WHO DID YOU HANG OUT WITH THIS WEEKEND?: Family
15. WHAT ARE YOU NOT GOOD AT?: Math
16. MUFFIN?: Cranberry
17. ONE OF YOUR WISH LIST ITEMS?: Books
18. WHERE YOU GREW UP? country
19. LAST THING YOU DID?: write
20. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?: jeans
21. WHAT AREN'T YOU WEARING?: socks
22. YOUR PET?: Dead
23. YOUR COMPUTER?: Laptop
24. YOUR LIFE?: Good
25. YOUR MOOD?: Peaceful
26. MISSING?: Money
27. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW?: Dallas
28. YOUR CAR?: Altima
29. YOUR KITCHEN?: horrible
30. YOUR SUMMER?: Exciting
31. YOUR FAVORITE COLOUR?: Blue
32. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED?: Yesterday
33. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: Today
34. SCHOOL?: Done
35. LOVE?: Deeply

And before you read too much into #33 - I was re-reading one of JR Ward's books - the one about Rhage and Mary, and there's a section in it where Rhage has to make a decision regarding Mary that makes me cry every time.

Horoscope for Today

I'm not a big believer in horoscopes, but every once in a while, they touch on a valid point - very broad based and would be valid for everyone, but I like today's and need to remember it:

Did you know that there's a direct relationship between your confidence and your creativity? They feed each other, and right now it's your confidence that should be pushing you to try new ideas and to do things in new ways. You might not know how to start on a new project, but you need to have faith that if you just start walking, the journey will reveal itself to you soon enough -- and that you'll be headed in the right direction

I feel I've spent a lot of my life 'wandering in the metaphorical desert' - it would be nice to head in the right direction for once.

Goal update: Wrote 4600 words today, almost the same yesterday, and am now at 13000+ words already this week. As Wylie would say: Woot!

Goals, part deux

Yesterday I borrowed a 'set goals' post from Christine, and thought I was being overly optimistic in what I'd hoped to achieved, but may I say - Wow! It is really working for me! I generally have a set minimum of 2,000 words a day, with a preferred goal of 2500 - 3000, but here it is day two of the week, and I've already written over 6,300 words - so I'm 2/3rds the way to that weekly goal, I've cleaned up that entry for the Vixen contest, and outlined three more possible shorts for EC. Woohoo!

Now I only have to figure out how to write a proper synopsis. *shudder* I am NOT good at summarizing my stories. I guess tomorrow I'll work on that.

Goals for the Week

Happy Victoria Day

I'm borrowing this from Christine D'Abo's blog, it's a good idea to get me back into routine after the weekend. Although technically my routine is still off since everyone's home for the long weekend.

I should be out gardening, but I am really feeling the pressure of Dallas looming.

My latest futuristic/paranormal is coming along nicely, it's completely outlined, and I'm at 19,500 words - not bad for less than two weeks work.

I've been tinkering with another short story for Ellora's Cave - hoping to keep it in their less than 15,000 word category, but in typical fashion for me, I tend to like elaborate plots and think in novel length rather than short stories. So it'll be a challenge. But one I'd like to try.

I need to write up a synopsis of the futuristic/paranormal I'm working on, and one for the Gargoyle story, in preparation for the course I'm enrolled in through the TRW and also to decide which to pitch in Dallas.

So my goals for this week are:

• Add another ten thousand words to the futuristic story
• Write up a first draft synopsis for the futuristic story
• Write up a first draft synopsis for the Gargoyle story
• Finish cleaning up a scene I'm thinking of entering into the Maryland Writers Group's Inner Vixen contest

It's probably overly optimistic to hope that both synopses will get done, but at least one has to get done. As does the contest entry - the deadline for that is June 1st. But the ten thousand words should be do-able. I have a minimum writing deadline of 2500 words a day that I impose upon myself, and since every chapter is outlined, I should be able to continue forward.

Here's hoping.

Oh, and still no word from my mother. It's been nearly a week, and she has my phone number and two of my email addresses, so I guess she's not inclined to get in touch despite what she'd said. Her choice. I'm okay with that. Sad, even disappointed, but not surprised in the least.

Robert J. Sawyer

I went to that talk at the local library by Robert J. Sawyer today - he's an award winning author - won Hugo and Nebula awards, the highest awards in the Sci Fi industry. And he's a past president of the Science Fiction Writers of America. And his books are set in Canadian cities.

It was a kick-ass thought provoking speech. It's not often that you hear an author stand up and say "As a science fiction writer, I hate George Lucas..." And went on to talk about how Star Wars ruined Sci Fi by starting off with the words "A long time ago in a galaxy far far away..." He discussed how the three heroes (Luke, Hans Solo and Obi Wan) really aren't as heroic - for instance, did you realize that Hans is a drug runner, or had you realized that Luke and his uncle were slave owners? He said that previous to Star Wars Arthur C. Clarke and other writers wrote about how humans dealt in the future - stories like Planet of the Apes and how our folly with nuclear war would destroy the world - that most were metaphors and disguised social commentary. But because of Lucas' 'Long time ago' the reader/viewer distanced themselves from the issues that Sci Fi normally discusses.

That was just the start - he talked about various other authors and trends within the genre. I really appreciated his analysis of Planet of the Apes and Time Machine - that's the type of sci-fi story I grew up reading and loving - the examination of humanity, and the human condition. That's why I love the Chrysalids and Arthur C. Clarke's Childhood's End - it makes us think about what we're doing to our world now. It's what I'm trying to do in my sci fi - which is set 'at some point in the future' after the polar ice caps have melted. I love examining cultural stereotypes and differences between people in a fictional setting like that. That's what my two of my manuscripts that are currently in the drawer moldering are about as well.

An interesting point about writing to the market and how it's never good to try to jump on a bandwagon - someone asked him if he would be writing a 'singularity' book. He said no, because by the time he wrote it, it would take ten months, and then it would take nearly another year to get into the book stores and now he's following a trend that's more than two years old. He answered questions and did a reading from his latest novel, Rollback, a really interesting sounding premise about how an old couple in their 80's are given the chances at rejuvenation. The process works on the guy, but doesn't on the woman and they find themselves, married 60 years, where he is now approx. 26 years physically and she's 86. He read it with each character in their own voice and is a wonderful speaker - they each came alive as he read.

Meme of 8

Amy's tagged me a couple times and part of the tag is that you have to tag others, but usually by the time I get tagged, the only people I know who I'd dare tag have already been tagged - Amy, Christine and Wylie.

Anyway, I'll do it for you Amy.

8 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT LEAH:

1. I wrote on Sunday about my 'how we met and married' story but didn't mention that I nearly dumped him when I discovered Gizmo Guy shared the same birthday with my Dad. Talk about a Yikes moment.

2. I'm not a big fan of chocolate. Shocking to most women, I know, but there you are.

3. I have no fear of talking to strangers or large crowds as long as I don't know them. I've won public speaking contests. But put me in front of a group of people I know and I freeze. Weird, huh? (Which makes no sense when you see item #7)

4. I am Marge Simpson. Minus the blue hair. My sister works for the DMV - just like Patty and Selma. My father used to be an airline steward (just like Marge's). I hate to fly -- see point 5. And numerous other points I can't remember right now, but the similarities are frightening. (No, I don't see Gizmo Guy as Homer, nor our eldest son as Bart)

5. I'm terrified of flying. Comes from growing up with a father who used tell all these stories about flying on planes with engines on fire, and crashes he'd been in, and crashes of planes he was supposed to be in where the guy who had taken his place got cut in half. The day before I was to fly to London back in 2000 Dad took particular joy in telling me about a Qantas plane that had lost its engine on take off in Italy - "it's exactly the type of plane you're flying tomorrow" Gee, thanks Dad.

6. I love music, I love listening to it, but I can't play worth a damn. I've taken piano lessons, flute lessons and six years of violin, and I still can't play anything. I sang in a choir for years, but I can't sing. My poor choirmates. And I REALLY REALLY want to have some sort of musical gift - but it doesn't help that I can't hear if I'm playing sharp or flat or a ring tone - must be something wrong with my ears.

7. I screen my phone calls - I use caller ID and must know the caller before I pick up the handset. It's hard to explain to people who visit when the phone is ringing and I won't pick up. But I hate having to answer a phone to someone I don't know. Blame telemarketers if you want.

8. I love reading historical romances but am not a fan of Jane Austen. Or Georgette Hayer. I can't abide Wuthering Heights or most of what most historical fans consider the classics romances.

And the Panic Sets in

62 Days to Dallas!

And I've just booked an appointment with an editor for July 14th.

Oh. My. Dog.

It's with Mary Altman of Ellora's Cave/Cerridwen Press. But now I'm definitely swimming in the big pool. Wylie? Christine? Any hints on what they want? Other than lots of sex scenes?

I've signed up for the Perfect Pitch course that my guild is holding for its members. I sure hope I'm ready for this.

Now I have to decide which manuscript to pitch - an erotic to EC? Or my straight historical or paranormal historical to Cerridwen? And then I'll have to write a synopsis. And learn to pitch it. And ... and ... and ... Holy Cr*p and there's only 62 days left!

On this day ...

On July 3, 1976, I went on a date with this man:



His name is Graham Stokes. We'd been friends in high school for years. The picture doesn't really show it, but Graham is huge. 6'5, 250 pounds. He was a professional football player. But inside he's the stereotypical marshmallow. He'd returned from Toronto for our high school graduation ceremony and we'd met up after not seeing each other for months. Anyway, we went on a date the following Saturday, as friends, and while on that date he introduced me to another man. This man:



You know him as Gizmo Guy. I hate to admit this, but I barely remembered him a week later. Why? Because Graham had taken me to his 'best buddy's house' where we met to go to a party at a local campsite. His best buddy? A guy who I'd dated a couple times who was thoroughly horrible to me when we dated. So I had no intention of being nice to anyone in that house. I ignored them all. And stewed and snipped at Graham the whole evening. But Gizmo Guy was intrigued enough apparently that the next weekend when Graham returned home, he asked Graham about me. Graham and GG kidded around and the request for my phone number became an auction.

"I'll give you everything I've got in my pockets for her phone number," said Gizmo Guy. Graham took the offer. Gizmo Guy had a penny. Yup, he bought me for a penny. And not only did Graham give him my phone number, he actually phoned me up and brought Gizmo Guy down to my house to meet me the next Saturday, July 10th. And then took us, as a chaperone on our first date. He said later it was because he didn't want me to feel pressured and if I didn't like Gizmo Guy then he'd drop GG off and take me home himself.

Well, Gizmo Guy and I ended up making a date for July 17th when we went to the stock car races in Peterborough. We dated a few times:



And on May 6th, 1978 - twenty-nine years ago at about this time of day, too - in George St. United Church in Peterborough, Ontario, I became Mrs. Gizmo Guy.



The day before the wedding had gone horribly. The best man's mother had made our wedding cake. While we were transporting it to the restaurant where we were having our reception, something shot off Gizmo Guy's dashboard and just about decapitated the top layer. Thankfully it was saved, and it looks pretty good, doesn't it? (By the way, I've still got the little basket of flowers - it's on my bedroom dresser.)

The tuxes that Gizmo Guy and his groomsmen had rented arrived and none of them fit well - in fact the Best Man's was completely wrong - I guess they couldn't believe that the measurements that had been sent in were correct. And the usher's pants were at least a foot too long. So I was already starting to panic when my bridesmaid (who had been working in Algonquin Park several hours to the north) phoned me to say she'd missed her bus home, so she wouldn't be there in time. Luckily we got ahold of her father who rushed north to fetch her. During the rehearsal, the usher's wife, another friend of ours, stood in for the missing bridesmaid. When the minister said everyone would have to stand through the entire service, she suggested that, since Jim's grandmother was there, and was quite frail and unable to stand for that long, that perhaps, at the bride's request, the minister could ask everyone to be seated once we started our vows. The minister had a conniption and spent an hour - yes, an hour - telling her how people in Russia are proud to stand for three hours or more to prove their faith. The usher was trying to placate both the minister and his wife, I was in tears, the organist who was there was apologizing to everyone for the minister's behaviour, and the best man's mother, who was an elder at the church was letting everyone know how she didn't appreciate the minister's rant - at full volume.

So I was extremely happy that the wedding day went well. Except for one small glitch. My sister, mother and I had appointments to have our hair done the morning of the wedding at the local hair dressers in Pontypool (a tiny village and closest form of civilization - population 250 at the time). She did mine first, then I got sent home while she worked on my mother and sister's hair. Except my father was hanging around to drive them home. And I found myself home alone, trying to dress myself and answer the door as the visitors started arriving. And the photographer arrived early and decided to start taking pictures of me.


Take a look at the above picture. The one of me looking down on the service? Notice anything strange about it? Yup, those are curlers in my hair. Because it was raining that morning, the hairdresser had decided to leave the curlers in the ringlets by my ears. And I'd forgotten them. And no one actually looked at the bride until I was ready to go to the church and by then half the pictures had been taken and we were now in a time crunch. So a lot of my pictures have those lovely white plastic doohickeys holding the curlers in place.

We had our reception, then headed out to Toronto where we stayed the first night in the Prince Hotel. They gave us the Penthouse Suite - and since Jim worked for IBM he got a company discount and it cost us a whole $28!!!

When we left the following morning the poor maid was on her knees trying to pick the confetti out of the carpet. At some point before the wedding, probably while I was at the hairdressers, my father had broken into my luggage and stuffed everything in it with confetti - socks, nightgown, sleeves of my shirts, even my bra! So when I pulled our my carefully packed nightgown that night, there was this huge shower of confetti filling the air.

We spent the next few days in Niagara Falls.

We stayed at a small hotel called "Michaels' Inn" and again, were given the best suite in the house - king sized bed, a sitting room, two bathrooms, two balconies, and did all the touristy things - saw the floral clock, went through Madam Tussaud's Wax Museum, wandered up and down Clifton Hill (a very circus-like environment - and that was pre-casino days.) We drove to Niagara-on-the-Lake, and went to a couple of other museums in the area. And had a thoroughly wonderful honeymoon.

Oh, and Graham? Well, he tried dating my sister for a while, then just before Jim and I announced we were going to marry, Graham approached me privately and said he'd made a mistake and chosen the wrong sister. That I didn't have to keep going with Gizmo Guy just because he'd set us up, he wouldn't be offended if I didn't want to go out with Gizmo Guy anymore, and would I consider going on a date with him. Um, no, Graham, that ain't gonna happen. But he was Gizmo Guy's Best Man. As a thank-you for introducing us, I gave Graham a present before we married. A small tube of pennies with a note that said 'Paid in Full'. Whenever we talk, he always tells me that he still has that tube of pennies. He's never has married though I always thought he'd probably bend over backward for his wife when he decided upon one. He's come close a few times but never managed to talk a girl into standing at the altar beside him. He's now living up on a reserve by North Bay, and has come close to death a few times because of diabetes. We talk every now and then, but not often enough.

And Gizmo Guy and I? Life's thrown us some crap that's been tough to deal with, but thankfully our marriage is strong and that bond has allowed us to overcome those obstacles. And yes, even after 29 years of marriage, we still hold hands and drive our kids nuts by kissing when we're making dinner. Oh, and on our anniversary 14 years ago today? We renewed our vows when I converted to Gizmo Guy's faith and the priest insisted we marry in the Catholic church.
Yup, two anniversaries for the price of one.

My present from Gizmo Guy this year is a trip to the RWA's annual convention in Dallas so I can pursue my dream of writing. What a hubby! Especially since I leave on July 10th - the 31st anniversary of our first date.

Book Meme

I grabbed this Meme from Amy Ruttan when I found myself answering the questions on her blog...

1. A BOOK THAT MADE YOU CRY: Diana Gabaldon's OUTLANDER - the scene where Jamie is relating to Claire exactly what Randall did to him in that private room in the prison's basement.

2. A BOOK THAT SCARED YOU: Okay, you'll probably laugh at this one but Arthur Hailey's HOTEL. I was ten when I read the scene where the elevator floor breaks open allowing people to fall to their death before it plunges to the ground on top of them - it got my imagination into such gear that I - to this day - have a fear of elevators. (By the way, did you know he researched for that novel at the Royal York Hotel in Toronto?)

3. A BOOK THAT MADE YOU LAUGH: Strange, I chuckle at a lot of novels but can't remember the funniest so the first one that came to mind was probably the most recent - Lynsey Sands' THE RELUCTANT REFORMER. It's an historical romance but there are parts of it that are absolutely hilarious as the Hero/Heroine keep getting caught in compromising situations.

4. A BOOK THAT DISGUSTED YOU: Well, not 'disgusted' me, but disappointed me - Carol Shields' THE STONE DIARIES. I really resented reading a book where by the end of it I just felt like 'life sucks and then you die'. Why Why Why did I waste my time reading it to the finish? If I had owned the book (it had been loaned to me by a friend) I would have hurled it against the wall.

5. A BOOK THAT YOU LOVED IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL: The one book that sticks in my mind is a pre-elementary one, but then again I was reading at the age of three, so this would be considered elementary for most kids. The thing is I can't remember the title of it, but it was about children in Lapland. Mum would take me to the library and I'd grab that book and she'd roll her eyes and say 'Not that one again!'

6. A BOOK THAT YOU LOVED IN MIDDLE SCHOOL: THE LION THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE by CS Lewis - I was so disappointed when neither of my boys were interested in it until the movie came out. THEN they read it and said they loved it.

7. A BOOK THAT YOU LOVED IN HIGH SCHOOL: This is a tie. 1) THE CHRYSALIDS by John Wyndham. I was "forced" to read this book in English class and I fell in love with it.(Yes, you saw this answer on Amy Ruttan's blog, but it's true for me too - I went out and bought a copy and it's on my keeper shelf even now) 2) THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL by Baroness Orczy which was a 'forced reading' for kids in another English class, but I picked it up from the pile of books my friend was carrying and read it on the way home (we had 1 1/2 hour bus ride to and fro school) Fell in love with it and love it to this day.

8. A BOOK THAT YOU HATED IN HIGH SCHOOL: THE RED BADGE OF COURAGE by Stephen Crane. Yuck. Probably a guy's book, but I couldn't stand it.

9. A BOOK THAT YOU LOVED IN COLLEGE: I was knee deep in nursing books at the time and didn't do much non-scientific reading ... so immediately post-college the one that I remember is SHOGUN by James Clavell.

10. A BOOK THAT CHALLENGED YOUR IDENTITY: THE NUN'S STORY by Kathryn Hulme. Yes, I seriously considered becoming a nun in my younger days.

11. A SERIES YOU LOVE: JR Ward's BLACK DAGGER BROTHERHOOD.

12. YOUR FAVORITE HORROR BOOK: Another tie: 1) THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE by Shirley Jackson, or 2) The MONKEY'S PAW by Edgar Allen Poe.

13. YOUR FAVORITE SCIFI BOOK: CHILDHOOD'S END by Arthur C. Clarke.

14. YOUR FAVORITE FANTASY: LORD OF THE RINGS by JRR Tolkien - the entire trilogy (well, maybe not the bit about Tom Bombadil - Him, I don't love).

15. YOUR FAVORITE MYSTERY: Any novel by Nevada Barr. A SUPERIOR DEATH springs to mind.

16. YOUR FAVORITE BIOGRAPHY: F. Norman Schwarzkopf's IT DOESN'T TAKE A HERO

17. YOUR FAVORITE COMING OF AGE BOOK: Hmm. Not sure but probably ANNE of GREEN GABLES by Lucy Maud Montgomery.

18. YOUR FAVORITE CLASSIC: THE THREE MUSKETEERS by Alexandre Dumas

19. YOUR FAVORITE ROMANCE: Oy! There are so many on my keeper shelf. I guess one I always love to turn to is Kathleen Woodiwiss's A ROSE IN WINTER. Even though her style has gone ... well, out of style, she's one of the first Romance authors I read and that's one of the first romances I immersed myself in. So much so that I truly regretted giving away my old copies when we moved 5 years ago that I went out and rebought them - and found an autographed copy in a used book store. Score!

20. A BOOK NOT ON YOUR LIST: Does this mean one that doesn't fall into any slot above and should be mentioned? Or one that you would never read? Anyway, this one is from the first category - a definite keeper on my shelf. THE CUCKOO'S EGG: TRACKING A SPY THROUGH THE MAZE OF COMPUTER ESPIONAGE by Clifford Stoll. I used to use a video PBS made about this story (The KGB, The Computer and Me) to help teach my students the importance of changing their passwords and also as a quick explanation about networks - this was just as the internet was starting up and we were talking BBS's and Arpanets, etc. Cliff Stoll is a quirky astronomer who was assigned the task of balancing the computer billing accounts for his university's computer centre and found a 75 cent discrepancy. The search for where that 75 cents went to introduced him to the world of hackers, and that eventually lead him behind the iron curtain and to a still unsolved mysterious death.

Hear Hear!!

Oh My God! This girl totally has it in focus!

(Thanks to Michele Bardsley who posted it on her blog)

D'uh

I did laundry today. My own clothes for once, instead of the six loads Gizmo Guy creates a week, or the multiple baskets my sons deliver. In the midst of the spin cycle, the machine sounds like it's walking across the basement floor. I run down, but as I reach it, it suddenly goes quiet, though the motor is still running.

Rats. I think I broke the belt or something because it won't spin anymore. I peer in and feel around at the bundles of wet clothes - it doesn't seem to be unevenly loaded, and there's not a whole lot of clothes - I've seen my husband load more into it.

It came with the house (which we bought 5 years ago) so it's not like it's under warranty or anything, and I don't want to call the manufacturer because I swear they'd probably send me someone expensive who would have to pay a service fee to Whirlpool as well. So Gizmo Guy gets on the internet to see if he can fix it himself (which made me cringe - literally - he is NOT a fix-it guy!) Thankfully he realized no, this was beyond him.

So GG and I ploughed through the phone book trying to decide which repairperson might be the best. I looked for companies that said they fixed our specific machine - Whirlpool - and whittled it down from there. Gizmo Guy liked an ad for "Chris's Appliance Repair." What caught his eye? Chris's ad said he was 'honest, reliable.' Gee, GG, do you think someone's going to take out an ad and say 'we're losers, we're going to rip you off'?

Anyway, we decided upon one and I phoned. A very gruff man answers: "Service." No company name, but okay.

I introduce myself, explain I need a repairman to fix my machine and admit that I must have overloaded it and I've probably broken the belt.

To which he replied: "You know you shouldn't overload your washing machine, they're not made for that."

Gee? You think? Sheesh!

Gizmo Guy says I should have just hung up and phoned the next on the list. I didn't. I guess I'm too polite.

Spring Cleanup

Gizmo Guy is home this week - he always takes vacation the week around our anniversary - it'll be our 29th next Sunday. Pre-children, we would arrange to go to Niagara Falls for a long weekend and take in the kick-off of the Blossom festival. (That's me on our honeymoon up above - in 1978 for anyone doing the math.)

Niagara Falls in spring is a great place to wander, especially when there are tulips and daffodils everywhere. However, since we've had kids that tradition has fallen by the wayside - and from what I gather they've changed the dates of the festival so it doesn't fall on our anniversary any more.

Since we would be staying around the house this year, we made a list of things that needed to be fixed. Yikes! And then whittled it down to realistic expectations - yes, we could clean up the basement, no, we couldn't afford to redo the basement the way we want. Yes, we can clean out the garage so I will have somewhere to paint the kitchen cabinet doors; no, we can't afford to actually replace the kitchen cabinets. So, list in hand, off we wander to Home Depot. We bought some concrete to resurface the front step which suffered dreadfully this winter. And some hooks to hang up the ladder in the garage rather than have it cluttering up the floor. Exciting stuff and a hint of what we will be doing over the next few days. *sigh* I miss those trips to Niagara Falls. Or Ottawa or Montreal that we have done in the past few years before Jim started to work with the Ontario government. Now those day are done.

And since it was a lovely spring day, we shoved the kids away from their video games and computer and put them to work helping clean up the backyard of all the cr*p that's flown into it over the winter. The pic below is what our backyard looked like two winters ago - last summer we trimmed the huge bushes along the back fence. In the front left hand side is a lilac bush, and beyond that is a mock orange. All in need of massive trimming. We cleaned up the fallen branches, and the plastic bags that got caught on the branches through the winter, and lopped off the dozens of lilacs that were suckering into the lawn, and hefted eight big recycling bags of detritus.



We have wild bunnies come into our backyard who very politely eat our dandelions (That's a picture of one of them to the right), and tons of birds - cedar waxwings, cardinals, blue jays, gold crowned kinglets, yellow bellied sapsuckers, even a northern shrike and a sharp shinned hawk on occasion. It looks neat, though there is a six - eight foot wide stretch across the entire back of the yard that used to be covered by the bushes that is now bare earth and needs to be seeded. (Yes, another thing we bought at Home Depot today.) Hopefully the bunnies won't be too upset and will continue their visits.

So now everyone is stiff and sore after having a winter of very little activity to a day filled with bending and pulling and lifting.

On a totally different note, last Thursday you may remember that I was typing on my laptop and the D key popped off. It wouldn't stay in place, so we took it to Best Buy where we'd bought it and the Geek squad there tried to fix it too. No joy. So they gave me one of two choices - either leave it with them where it would take 6 - 8 weeks as they sent it away to Sony, or since it was under a Sony warranty still, I could contact Sony directly and have 'express' service and get it back in a couple of weeks. Um, not much of a choice there. So Friday I phoned Sony and though there are 5 service centres in my area, I discovered it has to be sent to a place in California to have the entire keyboard replaced. They're going to be sending me a package via UPS to pack the computer in and I have to ship it back to them. They tell me it will take 10 days for them to service it. All for the want to a single key. Go figure. Anyway, they told me to ensure that there was nothing on my computer that I needed - does this mean I may not get the same computer back? Or does it mean that they wipe it when they replace the keyboard? Who knows.

So over the weekend, I removed my pictures, and my music, and my documents. I cleared off my cache and cookies and history on Mozilla so none of my passwords/identities show up. (Thankfully, it's all just copied over from my desktop so it's not like I've lost it, and can hook up my laptop to the external hard drive I used to back everything up so it shouldn't take long to restore everything.)

But I realized this evening that if anyone wants to test the keyboard they'll probably open up Word. And have Word offer them the option of opening the last document. I wanted to clear that list because I do NOT want whatever tech to see 'Lecture 11 - Hand to Genital Contact' and wonder what type of pervert I am. (I've just finished a course on Sexual Tension, where there were 12 lessons describing the 12 steps in the 'mating dance' humans do when meeting and mating.) No, the doc isn't there anymore, but the title is one that'll catch anyone's eye.

In case you think I'm overly cautious - techs DO look at your hard drive and will poke around just for kicks and giggles. How do I know this? When I was teaching at a local college a few years back, my computer went on the fritz and I took it to a local company to fix it. One of my students announced during a class a couple days later that she had looked at the tests and lessons I had on my system all thanks to her boyfriend who was a tech at the shop. I was not impressed and never returned to that store, but I don't doubt that every tech does that.

***Edited at 4 p.m.***

Purolator arrived this aft. Stupid Sony. Yup, it's to go to the local depot that's only 4 miles away. So I took it over this aft and hopefully the laptop should be back by the end of the week. Phew!